No, you can't have your cake and eat it

Wednesday morning started like the jerk of the guy who is going to play Bond and admits not being able to drive a stick of the classic Aston Martin DB5.

You-know-who kept calling. I said it to him loudly and clearly. No, I am not coming in today. 9 continuous 12 hours working day since Race Day. I deserve a day rest. ONE DAY. You can see my ugly face on Thursday and you can reprimand me as you see fit.

Throughout Wednesday, he calls me like a forlorned puppy with serious dependability issues.
Throughout Wednesday, my aim was to have a good time away from this person.

Wednesday marked the first time this year we went for a movie.
Wednesday was the day we went to have our studio pictures chosen out for that one picture that will hang in our master bedroom.
Wednesday was the first time this year I fell asleep in his arms in the twilight.

Frostie, PSP vs Horatio

I left the office in such a hurry I forgot to leave an auto-responder. I was getting a ride on Frostie on the dark rainy Tuesday..

We sat in Frostie watching Season 1 of CSI:Miami. And we both just let Horatio take over.. The PSP is quite a clever little thing (like me.) I wonder when I get Frostie in May... would it come with the PSP :D (Now that's pushing my luck)

Qert said : I don't like me anymore. The next few blog posting that you will read is very very dark...

"But I thought mine is improving..!"

Qert : Yeah, we're reversed now...

"I quite like Kimi at the airport. And that follow-up sms that I should go back to my blog and write something funny. He was so out to get me riled up!"

Leave Me Alone

The clearance of my annual leave 2005 begins Monday. (If things actually go as they plan) I was screwed over, by you-know-who, in a most classic way of "she's-so-important-I-need-her" way.
He's got some serious issues.

My leave didn't happen as planned. I knew it. I don't remember countless numbers of time my leave was pulled back or cancelled or just... ignored. :)

On Wednesday morning, at 7.14 am... I received a call with an urgent voice going, "Hey mom! I need coverage at the front desk! Morning shift no call no show. I need you to come in early..."

"Yes honey, tell them I am uncontactable..."

Music - Essential Anchoring Tool (MEAT) LOL

These are the two albums that has been playing in my office. Not on full blast, but almost.

I received this sms today : Go back to your blog and write something funny! I cannot help LOL. He even took his helmet off for the picture!

I know God put me on Eart so that people like him can have his little joys and cheap thrill...

Bee-Lethal me?

Just because she sent out a nasty email and cc round the world doesn't mean you have to be just as nasty. Here... take my nice sweet polite email and sod it.

You may have caught me doing a Calvin in the beginning of the day, but I am not going to let you get to me for the rest of the day.

If it makes you feel bigger and better, please feel free to trample all over me. Yeah, get Zero to ask me for my job. I really don't mind it. Yes, you can win... And I'll always let you win.

We'll see who is the one who can't sleep tonight...

Doing the right thing

Since most of us already have gone through the speech of right and wrong vs appropriate, I do not need to point the obvious that we all have grass growing out of our ears by now.

Name-dropping is something I did not learn how to do, or an art I do not know to appreciate.

This morning, I did one thing right. I played my Funk Odyssey album in the office. Jamiroquai is the right way to start the day. And then, like everything else, it just has to blow up in your face.

First, a nasty email, cc round the world. Second, a nasty phone call. Hah. And then what? Yeah, you want me reprimanded. I am certain that is on top of Zero's priority list. I am sure I just got bumped onto the top of his to-do list : People to reprimand today.

Finance... Whenever you get a call from them, it's NEVER good news. And I went to Finance from 10.30 am onwards... The magic word of centralisation means, having one Finance team on each end of the complex. And then, walking to the big green to the other finance office.

Kimi at the airport

Sms : Guess what! I met Kimi at the airport and took a picture! Will email it to you later!

Reply : What?! Were you in the picture?!

After lunch, sitting in my inbox, Kimi at the airport...

Some people can be such an ass. LOL. I don't know to laugh or to cry...

Pussycat

This, is Pussycat.
Also known as :

• Chairwoman
• Lunch partner
• Shopping partner

Julius : Does she have a name?

Yes, her name is Dhilah.

My Old New Toy

Hah. My old new toy.

Breakfast fellowship this morning :

"Where's your Shuffle?"

"You know where it is. Right here." *points*

"Where's the Pod?"

"Doesn't fit."

"Then what's the point of getting a Pod!"

Silence.

"Will you sell me your Pod?"

"Which?! The Shuffle or the Pod?"

"ARGH!!! You don't do this! Why would I want to buy back a Pod I sold to you?! ARGH!!"

"Who knows. Then again, I'm stupid in the morning. It's Moan-day..."

Breeding contempt with familiarity

How can anyone not love Casablanca?

"Too lazy"


"And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid."

Ignorance Is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss vs Ikan Bilis

I don't know if it's just me, but I've always practiced this : If you don't want to know what you don't want to know, don't ask.

Partner-in-crime, Rooney said, "But not everyone is like you. Just because you can do it doesn't mean curiousity doesn't get better of that person"

In a lot of things, I don't know what to make of Rooney, whether he is one to keep close, or closer. But so far, I've gotten sabo once from him, bad blow-up Friday. The Friday night I was going to meet Flip for drinks, the same Friday night we had Boss' farewell dinner.

They say Scorpios are vengeful people. They say Scorpios are jealous, envious, possessive, obsessive.

Scorpios women are one of the best teams I've worked with. We get along just merrily, at a higher volume than everyone else. But we get along, we work beautifully, with many high level discussions. Oh, that was fun.

I don't want to know what time he got home, I wasn't about to ask as well.

My New Toy

My new toy. A first-gen gargantuan Pod.

We're going to be limitless together...

What could keep you up....

It's Saturday night. You know you've earned it to go get yourself a drink.

You get dressed. You put on that little black dress.

"I thought you'd like to wear jeans.. the pair I bought for you..."

You then change into that pair of blue jeans, comb your hair, put on some lipstick, stick your handphone into your jeans pocket, stick your ID into your other pocket.

Hah! Where's your ID?! It's sitting in the top drawer of your desk... It's downtown. And you're not.

So much for Saturday night, so much for leaving the office in a hurry to make sure you have a Saturday night.

I stayed in. Steve went out.

Hi, Shine

Uh, hi to you too...

You're really pretty... I like the way you're speaking to me.... Can I take a picture of you?

Getting Enough Sleep...

And you wake up feeling like Tyler Durden. No, wait. That was me leaving early from office at 8 ish to go home. And put on a calming DVD. Fight Club.

Qert said to me yesterday : Now I know how you got so morbid. You keep watching CSI! I noticed that the more I watch CSI the more morbid I get.

Yes, welcome to the club.

The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club.

I got home and watched and almost quoted each and every line of I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection. Every Jack line, I knew it. Every narration, I know it.

I always tell myself that familiarity breeds contempt. Yet like everything I do and every decision I make, I contradict me. If familiarity breeds contempt, why do I keep watching Fight Club, keep watching Casablanca?

How do I stay me without contradicting me and how do I not let this circle of influence get in the way of me being me?

Kimi

This one's for me.

This is what I got :

Suggestion of what would be a great blog tittle : Well, it's one for the blog and two for the show...

"That's the wrong man"

"What? You want to take a picture of a picture?"

When in my office, "Wait, where's the other one?!!"

Yes, yes, I know I said my office is a mini Kimi Shrine... I'll get there..

(Now, that's what I call a picture...)

Comfort

I remember associating music/songs with rides. God's Top Ten. It's like being comfortable. It's like being in a different place. It's like being at a nice place you don't wanna leave...

It's like being in Qert's office. Nobody goes there, it's quiet, it's cold and empty, it's got a nice lamp where you just wanna stay staring at (not the lamp, into nothingness)

It's so comfortable that this, has decidedly, been the best place to hide and drown myself in tears. Until Qert burst into the office and goes, "What are you doing making wantan on my office floor!"

Last night, it was Africa by Toto. And it was a brand new, all-new sensation and completely different person.

I like to cling to the familiar, this creature of habit.

Problem Ejecting...

I keep trying to eject my thumb right, but I keep getting this error message. "Problem Ejecting USB Mass Storage Device"

Problem ejecting.. I have been using a thumb for more than a year and I don't remember having this... problem with ejecting. :X

Today, I had an okay start to the morning. I didn't manage to finish my coffee by noon. I didn't manage to have lunch until 2.30pm. After lunch, I changed my coffee to a calming green tea. I was sweating bullets and I need to breath right. I remember that being the key to many things. Breathing right. (Either that or slap me silly)

Flip said it right, a Shuffle is like knowing it is there and yet you can't have it. With no display panel, with no gargantuan space, a Shuffle is very limiting. The wonder of a Shuffle is that it is small enough to fit in my breast pocket. (Yes, now you know where it's been)

Problem ejecting...? ROFL

Counting blessings..

I have been told over more than 2 occasions over the past 2 weeks, that I should be a contented person, and to be thankful of the now.

Count my blessing, be careful of my karmic returns, all-round random act of kindness.

I'm still trying to breath right. Wednesday scare, Thursday panic. I just don't understand why life has to jump out at me at every corner, at every bump, at every long straights, at every "ting" of the lift, at every screech of the velcro on my favourite Crumpler despatch bag. Sigh...

And with counting blessing, means having your sister on MSN Messenger while you are at work. Counting blessing means, I have Jerri on MSN Messenger. My twin sister, with 8 years difference. We've shared birthday cakes for as long as we could remember. Even after she got married. With counting blessing means, I can MSN-Mess her and ask, "eh, what did mommy used to say that velcro thing was?" Hahahhahahah!!!

Don't Look Back In Anger

Kevin asked me why I keep all these angst, there is already so much hatred and anger in this world, why do I ride with it...

I don't know, it must be my dependency issues.

He commented on the train that day that Alanis has come so far, from being worldly and organic. I guess she has. Along the way she found love worthy to make her a nicer, mellow composer...

But that's not part of the Alanis Morissette that I would like to hold on to. I want to hold on to her "i love you big" and "thank u to everyone reading this, and everyone who is not".

Don't you know, you fool. You never can win. Use your mentality, wake up to reality!

Blotched Blue Film

Blotched Blue Film is the end result of :

"You bring your face, I'll bring the fish!"

Blue film

This one's for you, Qert. The picture before you cry.

Blue film : The Next Definition

It gets worse...

Yeah, that happy cup of anchoring triple shot grande latte ended up on my white linen top, my Nike ACG and on my marble floor. Save the jeans... And I was also scalded by the hot beverage, but that's beside the point. I am wearing my 12 ringgit coffee!

And I was late for my 10 o'clock. Life (and Murphy) only begins there.

Little horrible moment : "Oh, I sold my Pod long time ago, like last year! I asked if you wanted to have it, but you didn't say anything!"

Of course I didn't say anything, I couldn't afford hand-me-downs at RM700. March has been a bitch. I mean a peach, I got married. (From a scale of one to ten, ten high.... I won't rate it)

Little nice moment : "Oh, which reminds me. That guy hasn't paid me yet! I can get it back if you want it..."

Little horrible moment : "Let me check with the guy if he doesn't want it anymore"

Little cute mement : "Who was the person who made you sick on race day?"

Little must-this-happen moment : Shine, can I talk to you for a minute...

And the minutes lasts... for the entire day.

The God of Small Things

I read that book when I was 18. Many things happened when I was 18 that I am not very proud of, but I still have this book. Somewhere.

The other day (maybe early this year) partner-in-crime Rooney was bringing into context of taking a child to a toystore to show him all the beautiful toy and then told that he cannot have anything.

That's along the line of what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

The reason why I was thinking about The God of Small Things again is because it had little nice moments and little horrible moments. Overall, makes a book a book. It has its extreme moments and it's nice sweet moments.

Just to remind you and me, the joys of small things...

I don't know how to make my day better, I first was running late, thanks to late monorail and packed to the brim, then no breakfast. Thankfully the team at Planet Starbucks remembers and prompted, "Your regular?" YES!

Penmanship

I was reading James' blog and witty amusing anjali said, mankind would have been save if Adam and Eve were Chinese. Thanks for your take on that, I forgot for a while that there are so many wonderful things happening and is in this world, not just my sad depressing blog.

I saw Qert today, for about 12 seconds before I got back to serious mind drilling. He said that I need to put some pictures into my blog before I make him cry.

I realise it is probably because I have lousy penmanship.

What is this about manliness? Mankind. Sportsmanship. MEN MEN MEN.

Carrie Bradshaw is not a man. No, she's not... with the amount of shoes, she's not a man... And I realise as I sat down to begin one of my two letters to the ownership, that I do not have the penmanship for it.

Okay okay, back to formula : when x bothers you, do y.

Misdirection

So the good thing about having mentorship is, you need to apply what you learn. From Swordfish, I learn that it is about misdirection.

Like Ginger Halle Berry, the best way to work misdirection is, leave your top. Forget what Gabriel said about what the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes. It's about leaving your top behind.

Okay, so someone else also gave me a formula of : when x bothers you, do y.

Okay, here it is. I am very distracted and before Qert could say another time, "I have a right to know what's wrong with you! You're makin wantan on my office floor!"

I need some misdirection, here it is. Sitting down in my office listening to my miniature Pod, (because Qert sold his at a discounted rate to someone other than myself, ass, knowing how much I wanted a gargantuan Pod) being at mercy of painful music, writing nice... NICE letters to ownership.

God's Top Ten

This was the song that was playing the night he sent me home. It was wet, and it was dark... I was also lazy to catch the cab and was happier than anything not to be in the mercy of cabbies so late at night...

It was the first time I was in his car, it was the first time I took up an offer for a ride home in his car, it was the first time I listened to INXS, truly listened to INXS.

It was also the first time he explained to me what God's Top Ten was all about.

Most mentors will talk to you about books and success gurus, my mentor, gives me movies like Swordfish and DVDs like Aerosmith and CDs like INXS.

You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good.

My mentor does it, and he doesn't even have to say it.

God's Top Ten!

Stand... of grand and of pad...

You know what is the worse thing to have to do... besides just having forks in the road on every aspect of your life... is when you are made to choose from the one thing you are passionate about.

With me, passion is CSI Miami's Horatio Caine, with me, it is the music in my miniature Pod, with me it is my Planet Starbucks latte. To Flip, he thinks my passion is wearing the pin. It has nothing to do with pin, it has nothing to do with what you wear. It has everything to do with what and who you are.

There are certain people who can come into your life and shake you to your core, there are some people who are just like Horatio Caine (or like my mentor) And then there are the people who can affect you so badly and make you cry for hours in empty toilets or office. Then you wonder who you gonna go back to concentrating on work. There are people you cannot have, there are people you can only look at their ties and there are people you know you have touched their lives one way or another, but there will always be a catch somewhere. Always a catch.

From a grandstand point of view...

It was Crystal. But it still made my day.

I was at Mickey D's catching breakfast when he started my day with acidic level of sarcasm. I tried everything from listening to my miniature Pod on full blast to feigning ignorance to just NOT RESPONDING. But he still got to me. I need to polish on my poker face.

He irritated me to the point where I just wanted to leave my skin behind and fade off. Along the train ride, I placed my hands over my face and he said, "Yeah, Mickey D's in the morning will make you sick.."

I replied, "I don't want to hurt your ego so early in the morning, but I need to let you know that it is not Mickey D's that is making me sick..."

I'm certain he is a smart man and could read that for himself without further interpretation!

So if you think I had a blast being the butt of his every joke and the blunt of his every acidic douses after douses of sarcasm, you're wrong. This person is limitless. This person knows no extend.

Oh yeah, I used to think that gratitude was the sincerest form of flattery. Here it is : thank you for the invitation for my first ever Crystal grandstand seats.

PERIOD.

A Reason Why

There is a million reason why people do the things they do. They only need to find ONE reason.

One valid reason to hold on to and believe in. One simple one, one complicated one. Or one very easily understood by everyone, money....

My trusted No. 2 has tendered her resignation to me 3 days ago. She knows how valuable she has been here, and how far she has gone. With a month less to a year, she decided to go. I am certain there were many things that she was considering and many weighing to be done. (or maybe it wasn't that complicated, but it's just me)

One simple reason for me would suffice, I wouldn't think about another thing. If I had an increament of RM 700 per month to the next job, I'd have left this job with no consideration.

Of tall tales and tell tales..

I sometimes wish I can just open my mouth and tell people why I am crying, or why I am so frustrated.

But mentor said, I need to have patience and I need to give myself some time. He's been saying this for years, it doesn't look like it got me very far.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world... that is how I feel about all these tears streaming down my face when I go to Qert's cold empty office to cry. Like right now. I like this office, nobody every comes to this office. I wish my office was like that but then that would probably mean I cry a lot. :P

I wish I can just open my mouth and tell people, "He's not what you think he is..." But I cannot. And I will not.

And I thought Baby was bad, and I thought I had a bad June last year. Fires of purgatory. Silly stupid Shine. You just had to go and do that.

It's not going to be the first time you go home crying, red eyes and puffy nose, and he wouldn't realise the difference...

Frustration

Hah, this is one word I can commonly associate with my everyday life and my every encounter with blogspot.

There has been so much to update from Alanis Morissette to Kevin to Flip to shopping for phones to being angry at inconsiderate people to being pushed over again and again.

Boss once said to me that regret is the most difficult thing to ever live with. I don't think the choices I am facing right now has anything to do with regret. It is just forks in the road. I'm certain I will be able to sort this all out, give myself some time. Opportunities doesn't just display itself to you, you need to work toward sit and strike while the iron is hot.

I don't know how many times I have missed it and don't know how many times I feel like it's the end. But I know I will keep striving on. One person has made me cry so hard, and with the decisions he has been making the last 2 days, I have no doubt that I will be able to get overm this by the weekend.With all the frustration I have had at work, the only thing to keep looking out for, is the F1 weekend. Pray for me.. pray hard for me. I need all the strength I can muster.

You said you love me, but I don't think the actions that you have been doing and the decisions that you have been making reflected that. I could never do all those to someone I truly love.

The familiar..

That's my happy pill... sitting at my desk.. calling my name.

That's the sunglasses that Chairwoman bought for me.. my bumble bee retro Charlie's Angel sunglasses...

The look I was trying to achieve was Farrah Fawcett, but got Nicky Hilton instead. So.. those glasses was sitting somewhere else. (not many people I know knows Farrah Fawcett... how come ah?)

Talking about priorities..

And work. How could I forget that!

Work! Top proirity.

Working on blowing some steam in the gym, working on running down "the boss", working on some proper pronunciation and use of tongue.... Working on getting to a moment of, "You make me want to be a better man!"

I'm looking forward to being uncontactable this evening from 7.30 pm onwards. Don't even THINK of trying to call my phone.

F1 weekend!

This weekend is something different... it meant something... F1 season starts again!
JC, thanks for reminder...

Instead of making it a point to be home for uninterrupted CSI at 9pm, I will make it home by 7.00 pm. Shoo my dad off the living room and find the hidden remote control and make it for start-off. I cannot wait for the season to start again.

I did something I shouldn't have today, I shared some private pictures (not that kind that is going through your head!) with Qert. He transferred those files onto his lappy.. If these pictures gets out, I know it's Qert... and you'll know it's me.. Oopps... It wasn't me!

Don't blog it, Qert. If you do, I will never forgive you (and you will still have to loan me Frostie!)

In case you're wondering about my priorities, top 3, as usual, would still be

• CSI Miami (Mainly Horatio Caine)
• Anchoring triple shot Grande Latte from Planet Starbucks
• My miniature Pod, singular Shuffle-mode

blogspot

blogspot is beginning to annoy me. Anyone who can teach me how to migrate to another spot to publish my blog, please get in touch.

This Weekend!

(Yesterday's posting, blogspot was spotting me from the blog... sigh..)

Somewhere along the line, I missed being on 6th floor. There used to be meanings and comfort of hearing the word : weekend.

Last night, defeated by Finance and by royalties, we all stayed at work and proved unproductive by 10.30 pm. Agitation and frustration was seen in all our faces, especially my butlers who has been here since 8 am...

I remember going for Fid Opera demo and I was so impressed with having 8 billing windows. (Yes, June, how am I going to handle 8 windows when I cannot even manage 4?! I'm still trying to figure...) Yesterday, 4 windows, 2 hours, 2 phone calls and 1 calculator later, I was ready to give up. I know my heart will no longer pump and I will no longer be able to breath properly.

I need to leave these 4 enclosing walls. I need to look at something besides these 4 blue billing windows. I went to the other lobby to look for my children. I managed a laugh and dropped the cheque, closed my cashier and went back to my office.That was rather therapeutic. I needed some laugh.

The most pantang thing for me is seeing overnight shift when I come in, and seeing overnight shift when they come back in. This happened to me for 3 consecutive days since I got back. I'm just talking about it again because after 6 days, the pattern needs to re-register!

The mistakes of keeping a blog...

For people like Fox Mulder and myself, we are cursed with good memory. Mostly of things we don't want to remember. And keeping a blog, is like keeping all the bad memories in writing.

A few days ago, I had a dream of someone I really like... It was a happy ending. Dreams like that for me are rare.. It's usually nightmares. But that one, I treasured. It's only a dream. And to this person, I'm only a puppy.

Without JL in the office, I played my INXS album loudly and then switched to John Mayer's Trio album Live In Concert. That was a tough one. Try listening to John Mayer, reading the September entry on my blog (where I was haunted of the picture and turned into a person I do not know) and not to crystalise. Wait, I almost succeeded, except, I crystalised..

Then I did another painful thing, I opened my gmail and read the old emails from 2004. Big mistake. It was an overdose. It made me smile and it made me crystalise. I don't know why it feels so wonderful to read these old emails. It may be because I have not seen him the entire month of March....

Everything but...

That's normally the situation I find myself in. I was sharing with Flip regarding Murphy.
And as usual.. the evenings of my everyday, I sit at my desk and be at the mercy of my Shuffle...

I need to move on from these Sade and Everything But The Girl. I need to move on from Alanis Morissette.

I cannot keep doing this to myself. I cannot keep finding myself crying at my desk, doing that only because I know my team will not interrupt me in my office. Esp after JL leaves. There was nothing more welcoming for me than Fields of Gold, except tonight, there were many cigar-smoking guests in the Lounge and I was not about to unabashedly shed tears on the counter.

Codes

When my new best friend was nicely and politely forced out of the organisation, she called me and called me and called me and cried and cried and cried. I remember how it was like, having to speak to her in the office I share with JL and Rooney. It was so difficult to speak to her because the walls have ears...

We used terms of "cigarette smoking man", "Superman", "Hero" and "8501" and whispers of "text me!"

Today, a curious reader who claims that what I call him on my blog is too evasive, asked me to decipher my codes. I'm not curious. I'm not confused. I'm just complicated.

We met for drinks today, and he said that there was only the two of them, of the same variety. And my name for him on my blog is too obvious. So I have to come up with something more original. I shall call him, The Flip Phone.

Phones that flip, if you can get it up, you can use it. :) Yeah.... I can't use it if I can't get it up!

Of G's and cocks...

A true case of when the cat is away..

In this case, both the cats were away... so you would imagined what party it was for the mices. :D

With valid explaination of, "Without the G's who would I introduce my client to?!"
Makes sense...

One SM showed up for 45 seconds, did a round and left. :) We watched, smiled and knew this was their stage... Came, saw and left.

This also means that this mice, can help herself to the "delicious beverages, delectable canapes and the delightful melodies of our live quartet.."

This must be a textbook case! The G's get their "rest" and the mice gets their "play".... Life is good!

(Delayed) The Cure®

This is yesterday's posting.. blogspot probably got tired of my 4 postings a day...

Of all the Smooth Operators, Boys, Just Like Heaven, Sweetest Taboo, Friday I'm In Love, This Year's Love, Careless Whispers, Sweet Emotions, I need a change in flavour. I cannot be attached to all these songs that I have challenges disassociating it... And I GuessThat's Why They Call It The Blues.

The in-house band caught this habit of mine... At 10, I will go sit at the counter. At 10, they will play Fields of Gold. And then, I will no longer be crying at my desk, I will be crying at the counter.

I have this association with Sting, and I guess the person who had his picture taken with Sting would understand (or choose not to) We are all creatures of each other's pain and pleasure. I just tend to be one that is quite painful...

Before I forget...

And before blogspot kick me off this page, having not being to upload more than 2 paragraphs per posting.... I better say this before I push 30 myself.

Happy Birthday, James.
(say, uncle... You're a decade older than me, aren't you?!) Here's to hoping you will have more, since you have your miniature to keep motivating you :)

Random, the way to be. It's the nature of the universe. That's what witty Jack told me today, when I once again shared my misfortunes of owning a singular shuffle-mode Pod.

Single serving friends. Shuffle. Random. Life. Is.

Life is either random, or Murphy.

Back to grivences... why shop out when you can dine in?

At loss for words (Yes, me...!)

I received good to great news today. I didn't manage to stand up and do my dance with my theme song. I didn't manage to sound convincing even, when I shared it with Qert.

Even Qert did the dance. He knows who exactly is going to come a-saving me. He knows exactly what to say.

With my today being like my everyday, I was being talked to more than I ever manage to communicate with my team. I was carrying the ball and chain engraved JL.

For all his shortcomings, I don't know if the Fat Fat One is doing me a favour or doing me a Sun Tzu.

I didn't manage to eat lunch until 2.35pm, I didn't manage to get to Finance in time until after 5.00pm, I didn't manage to complete his "PROJECT" because I had to have them ALL re-labelled.

When I caught Qert, I just came from Finance and it was a loud spectacle where I was... And I was there to be audience. I was almost 4% when I caught Qert. And with knowing exactly what to say, it was the most pleasant and mindful 38 seconds of my day.

We spoke of fools (you-know-who) and king (singular, not plural - His name is Horatio Caine)

Walking The Talk...

With his ego larger than life, he strolls into the lobby. Of course, he is the King of the World... Is it envy that makes me wish one day that smug look will be wiped from his face? Or is it just pure simple hatred?

I remember hating the feeling of being a fish in the tank, or being in the lift with Grace with big hair. But I don't remember what was the last thing that made me so utterly choked-breath, flame-eyed when it comes to the G's and the cocks.

Ignore the figurative and whimsical rhetoric of a musing fuming woman scorned fury. I don't think anyone knew exactly what happened.

Being Married

Is that how it feels?
When I spoke to partner-in-crime Rooney about my "grievances" he said, "That's how married life is!"

Yeah, says you. Says you who has just become single again. Says you who has left 4 good years behind.

What changed? (behinds having a ring on my finger)

I'm still me. I still work 12 hours a day. I still cry at my desk every evening. I still get very riled up with having misplaced my trust. I still do "stupid" things. I still have this job. I still DO this job. I still have no time for dinner. I still have no time to let my hair down (today, literally)

Grammatically Correct

The difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse"

Grammatically correct interpretations :
- capital letters
- ironically, my friend, Jack, was the witty person who came up with these sentences. Hence, "Jack, (him) off a horse"

(Did Carrie Bradshaw ever have difficulties coming up with her columns?)

Smile!

Peek-a-boo! Thank you, everybody for your sms' and well wishes.

I do therefore I'm married

Running off somewhere? Yeah, how about taking a career you love and run with it for 2 years and see where it takes you? That's what Steve and I are doing, with our career and an even longer run with our marriage.

We got married over the weekend, much anticipated by all 13 people who came to the registration. Thank you all for being there and in the support!

Reality of the fact

"If I'm thinking what he's thinking, he's got long term plans for you"

I was watching Constantine on Tuesday. It's one of my feel-good movie. I'm a good vs evil kinda person. I've watched Constantine at the cinema twice, both times with Chairwoman. She hates Constantine now, but I've seen it so many times over and over again on DVD.

One part of the movie said, "God has a plan for all of us"

"Into the light I command you"

I really like that movie.

The day before tomorrow

That was a good movie, agreed by mentor and myself.

Before the morning settled in, I was already at wits end. I went urgently to the office that I keep reminding myself is CLOSER to my advantage. And to found Qert not there. I left a voice mail and left.

With no mama Intan and no Glamour Sally, I had no hugs. Desperate for a listening ear and a comforting hug, I have to settle with just a listening ear. I went to try Qert's office again. And we took a 5 minutes.

Which of course like mighty ET said, "It wouldn't be fair to say I don't have 5 minutes, but if I give you 5 minutes, you will take more than 5 minutes". I took more than 5 minutes and two tissue papers.

Zero's done it again.

I texted mentor in desperation only to receive reply of "Will do so. In meeting now"

I waited. And I waited.

Which was good for me coz I was breathing right by the time the call arrived.

Music ... Continued..

(I'm hating blogspot more and more now.. It just won't let me post anything more than a paragraph!)

He got back into town only to be packing off again. Read post : He's Always Buzzing Just Like... July 19, 2005. I caught him for a 10 second brief in the lobby. I know I've said this before, I know I've felt like this before, I know I've got a million postings like theones before this about buzzing just like neon...

As soon as I've accepted the fact that the shuffle-mode is how my life is, it played Sade's Kiss of Life. I was kicking myself over the association I have of this song with Planet Starbucks, The Couch and those beautiful enigmatic eyes. I was kicking myself on Sunday morning. Kicking myself awake...

Music

(Blog entry for Sunday 26th Feb 2006)

... Song by Madonna..

Over the weekend, I bought 2 albums, Madonna's latest and Mary J Blige. Sunday is a day meant to corrupt the office with music.

Sunday morning, I was at the mercy of my shuffle-mode Pod. It was playing Bono and Frank's I've Got You Under My Skin. And then it played Frank's solo & original I've Got You Under My Skin.

It's one of those days when you know things are going to go dejavu. It almost was.