Bad pictures

Ok, the pic quality is quite bad, because I'm still not pro at using the N80. But here it is, the kopitiam table. This is their DINING area. Big like sh*t.





Okay, this pic is from the front, the moment you enter the sliding door. Way back there, is their kitchen, with an island.

Laine was salivating. She's been dying for an island since their first property. Okay, so Laine and Eric has two properties. Neither of each property could accommodate an island in the kitchen. Ha Ha. So now they are looking at a third property.

The area on the left of this pic, is where the gambling takes place. Enough to accommodate two tables of mahjong and one table for playing cards.



Sigh.


The possibilities of what money can do for you. So so blessed, they are.

The Big House

Last night, we had our annual "irritate Sharon, Bee and JayVenn" night.
Unfortunately, there was only 4 of us to raid the house. It's a huge house. They've just moved in.

The FIL bought the place. The FIL renovated the place. The FIL bought the furniture, the fridge, the sofa, the bed... And to kill for, was her walk in closet. I could almost imagine my shoes... All my shoes being able to fit just comfortably... Sigh.

Anyway, so blessed she is... 3 storey, 7 bedrooms, 2 adults and a tiny person.

JayVenn is still, the cutest. The most adorable. No nasty tantrums.. so well brought up in this castle.

Sigh.

Anyway.

Since Sharon has been upgraded from school teacher to housewife, she is now looking for "kakis" and tried to convert me and Laine.

She taught us how to play mahjong.


Sharon is really becoming the tai tai! Her FIL lives 5 units down the street, he loans their maid for her use... And to prepare the meal we had last night.

Bless!

Upgrade me, so I can pick up mahjong!! Ha ha.


(I have a picture of the house, from front to end. In comparison, I feel absolutely tiny! Will post it when I can)

Irreplaceable

I first heard this song on MTV. I don't even watch Channel V or MTV, but whatever. I came across the beginning of this song. To the left.. To the left! It has Beyonce pointing both fingers to her left, directing him to go get his box. Ha ha.

I love it. I love this pointing motion Beyonce is doing. He he.



To the left...
To the left...

To the left...
To the left...

Mmm to the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff
Yes, if I bought it then please dont touch (Dont touch)

And Keep talking that mess that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
And, its my name that's on that Jag
So go move your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard tellin me how I'm such a fool
Talkin bout how I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
Baby

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin
You're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick and see if she's home
Oops, i bet you thought that i didn't know
What did you think i was putting you out for

Because you was untrue
Rollin her around in the car that i bought you
Baby drop them keys
Hurry up before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard tellin me how im such a fool
Talkin bout how i'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
Baby

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin
You're irreplaceable (irreplaceable)

So since i'm not your everything
How about i'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby i won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear)
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cuz the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left

To the left
to the left
Mmm to the left(to the left)
Everything you own in a box to the left

To the left,to the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin
You're irreplaceable

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
Baby!

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin

(Baby.....)

You must not know bout me
You must not know bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
(You can pack all your bags, we finished)
(cuz you made your bed now lay in it)
I can have another you by tomorrow

So don't you ever for a second get to thinking
You're irreplaceable

This Time Last Year

This time last year, I was already on my way to .... many many days of leave. And writing a rude auto-responder on my email.

The thing about being second is, you're always second. But least you know you're second. Not third. Or ... second.. from last. Whatever!

It was okay and I will be better in the next few days than I would be today.

Keeping fingers crossed. And... here's to everyone, Happy Lunar New Year!

Dropping The Ball

I have always been a "ball" person.

Today, I have dropped the ball. Twice. Twice today. And lost count of how many times this week... I am sorry I keep disappointing myself.

Work that provides sustenance. This sustenance I have been needing... Has got me so so tired. So tired since Monday. And the big announcement on Wednesday, I missed it. But what the heck. The entire point of the announcement for me was, the food and the envelope.

I had 4 bites of sandwiches and I was called back to that which provides sustenance.

The week has not ended. This Sunday, I am back to have more sustenance! So much for CNY celebrations.


There's always a choice. And there's always a catch.

Right now, I don't even remember what was on tv last night. But tonight, at 10.30 pm on 8TV, it's What Women Want. Down to the last 3 contestant.

And as usual... whenever I want to catch something. I can't.

So it's good to keep zero expectations. That will mean zero disappointment.

So now. Focus.

Leslie Cheung

In the movie last night, Andy Lau did a rendition of a Leslie Cheung song.. It was "The Wind Blows On". Year : 1983. (Okay, there's gonna be a lot of Cantonese terminologies on this posting)

When Andy Lau started to sing this song, I started to cry. Particularly the way he sang it. It was just like Leslie. You must remember, Leslie took his own life in April 2003. And with Leslie, my sissy and I grew up.

It was watching A Better Tomorrow II, when Leslie died (in character) and my sissy was crying her eyes out. It was watching Leslie's Final Encounter, the moment he "frame mic" (retire from singing)

This song particularly, is the same song everybody uses as a Leslie Montage. This very song. And I started crying.

Not because it reminds me of anyone in particular. Not because the song means something to me (actually, it does) Not because of anything, but the fact that Leslie is no longer with us.

I cried for as long as Andy sang the song. I didn't know why it was so easy for the tears to come. I didn't know why.

But as I took my breathing right wrongly for the night, I had Leslie tunes going through my head. Monica. Stand Up. Songs.. Songs that made Leslie Leslie. Songs that made this era. Songs that made my sissy and I sing together.

I was crying not because I was watching a Leslie Cheung movie. I was crying not because I was listening to a Leslie Cheung song. I was crying because Andy Lau sang that song as a tribute. And I was reminded of what's not here anymore.


As much as Anita Mui was an icon in my life, Leslie Cheung was the icon in my sissy's life. Ask her today, she'd still have her Leslie cassettes....

Anita Mui

She was starring in a movie last night with Andy Lau. It was Dance of Dreams. Okay. Knowing me, I'm a dancing movie type of person. I remember back when there was Footloose and Flashdance!
And gorgeous men who could really move it. There was John, Kevin and Patrick. (he he)

So last night, I watched this movie... I didn't watch the beginning, I didn't watch the ending. But what part I did watch.. did make me miss dancing. I cannot believe I could give up a passion and a training of 10 years just so I could get locked up in an office. Look at Cat. She's got her own studio?!! Didn't we once dream that that was how it was to be? That being on tour with a dance company was what I wanted, the only thing I wanted?

Oh well.

Anita Mui died on 30th December 2003.


I remember listening to her and singing to her since I was 4. My mom could tell you, I was singing and dancing way before I could speak properly. And she was such an icon in my days. She had this charisma and was such a wonderful entertainer. My mom bought me cassettes after cassettes. I wanted to be Anita Mui's back up dancer!!

Happy Valentine's Day

I wanna cover 4 things today.

1. My Knight In Shining Armour is shining in Ipoh.
2. Leslie Cheung
3. Anita Mui
4. Surprise!

I'll start with the surprise.

Since I was 16, I have had this attachment with sunflowers. The most memorable sunflower experience that I ever had, happened in Mickey D's at Dayabumi. To get from our all girls' school to the bus station, we had to walk past Mickey D's at Dayabumi (the Mickey D's there has been abolished for almost 7 years now) I was celebrating my 16th birthday there, with 9 other friends. And the each bought me a sunflower and a hug. So blessed!

I have been talking sunflowers for almost 2 weeks.. and today.. I was hoping for one single stalk of sunflower.. But instead, received a bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolate.

You know.. I've never been a flower person. That one year in the glitzy ritzy place robbed me off it. But sunflowers.. that's different.

I have known him for almost 5 years now. In the 5 years, this is the 3rd time he bought me flowers.

Is the whole point of sending flowers for others to look at and be envious or is it for reminding me that there is still...

What The Heck

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Organic

It's about a diet. A real good healthy one.

And in my state of unstableness, I have decided to do away with all the negative angst that I get with Alanis Morisette-ing myself. So, one less shoot-up for me. Consider it my one less stabbing myself, my first step to loving me.

However, there is one small Alanis-dulging myself that I do. This song titled "Crazy". It's my organic version. (Yes, the one she did quite well. The one we watched together on the train)

Since I've done away with the Shuffle-ness of a Shuffle, I have turned the shuffle mode on my hp now on. (Don't ask me why. Surprise me) So while I was on the monorail on the way to work, it was playing randomly... And my organic version came on.

And then I realised, I actually prefer the Seal version.

Since I have done away with how I love to start my Alanis-dulgence, I could do away with everything Alanis-ette. Yes, I could.

Since life is random, and life is not often in your hands, why not?

But wait, why do away with the only organic version you have? Why? She doesn't make you bite your lip and frown (anymore) She doesn't make you feel angry (coz you don't listen to her no more) She doesn't make you feel like relating your life to hers (As we were talking outside it was cold. We were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter. My wife is in the next room, we've been having troubles you know. Please don't tell her or anyone, but I need to talk to somebody)

Okay. Shit. I just realised that Alanis-etting myself and De-Alanis-etting myself is not that simple. I have to go home, look for my sifu CDs and go deal with my association vs disassociation. Again.



This time, know your outcome.

Doink.

Weekends

I started Saturday late. By 5.00 pm, I was evolving into a snake on the floor. But a very frustrated snake. The 24 that I have borrowed, was buggered. And I got really angry.

I took my mom and went to Chinatown. To purchase Season 3 of 24. RM 54, for 6 discs.
I went home, watched disc 5 and saved disc 6 for Sunday.

And I forgot to visit Pets HQ in Chinatown while I was at it. Because I was so eager to get back to Jack. The entire collection is in my hands now. I just got Season 4 and Season 5 today. So I know what I will be doing this weekend.

Jules was trying to get me out of the house on Saturday night. She came over with her mom and tried to make me go Mid Valley with her. She tried. But I was persistant.

So she went, with her mom. And then came over after her shopping. She stayed till about midnight. Bless....

How often do I have company?


On Sunday, I got up early. (for a Sunday) Disc 6 had only 4 hours of Jack's life. And I have finished it in about 3 hours. There was nothing else for me to do. At 2.00 pm, I was watching Constantine. At 3.00 pm, I was in Bangsar.

At 5.00 pm, I was home. And again, channel surfing.

Mommy... You know that RM 54 I spent yesterday to buy Jack... I'm done. There's no more Jack. Should I have spent another RM 54 to buy Season 4 yesterday?? Can we go now?? And I wanna go to Pets HQ. I wanna hold all the Pugs there is in the world. I wanna have ..

Okay, there's only one song that pops up right now as I am typing this. Top Gun. The bet. The girl. The attention. You've Lost That Loving Feeling.

I wish I wasn't such a movie buff.

Okay. We didn't go anywhere. My mom won't buy it.

"Je. Come go out for dinner."

No.

"Come lah. I pick you up in 15 mins."

No.

"Please?"

No.

"A little bit curious?"

No.

"Come we go SS2 eat dinner. You can eat as much as you like."

I already liked all the much I ate.


I didn't leave the house again.



I have been putting on weight so much. Zero saw me today. And commented that marriage agrees with me. It's pretty scary. It's turning a year! I've been on my ass at this job for almost a year! It is now officially my old old office. And for as old as I've been here, I have not managed to drop the permanent fixture tag yet.

It's Moanday. Which is my number crunching day. And I'm still trying to do my Daily Pick (ME) Up compilation.

*Yawn*


I got Season 4 and Season 5 in my drawer. Jack. I've got Jack to look forward to. Keep fingers crossed. Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack.

Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack.

Happy Birthday

It started with Qert. Happy Birthday, Qert!

Today, unprecedented, I went into a meeting on behalf of Boss. I wasn't certain what really made my day. The meeting, or the fact that I can look.

I bought him my usual annual gift. And he accepted it, with returned gratitude of getting me a Chocolate Cream Chip Frap. Ha ha.

Further down this week, is more birthdays. The Boss and The Queen Bee.

I just called to check I got The Queen Bee's date correct. As I remember, Mr. E annually delivered flower to her office. Ha ha. Brown Noser! But, one must do what one must to keep a job.

So here it is, Happy Birthday!

Not feeling like...

No, I don't feel like blogging. It's been a while now. Nothing interesting has happened. Aside from the Wednesday night and 3 Polaroid pictures in my pocket.

No, proxying is not something I see myself do. Esp when it comes to looking for eligible women. How is a non-eligible woman gonna go find a pool of eligible women?

The highlight was probably when Z introduced his friend. Familiar face. Coz every Thursday night, we watch What Women Want on 8TV. This is because that's when we have dinner at home!

When we were growing up, it wasn't a habit for us to eat in front of the tv despite the tv being on and there were endless chinese episodes going on. But the house is small. And everywhere we sit in the living room, we can see the tv. It wasn't by choice. But it was by way of being brought up.

My mom ran a tight rein on us when we grew up. Every Tuesday and Thursday night, dad plays squash and doesn't come home till about 9 pm.

Jules and I still like to talk about how mom was when we were growing up. And what fun Yen was into, swimming with dolphins? How many tattoos would she have by now... and all that jazz.

My sis will be at Mom's place tonight. Late. But still she contacted me to say that she'd like to see me at home. We only meet on Friday nights and Saturdays if she comes down to Mom's place.

Gonna feel so different beginning July. It's just a few months away and it's so scary already...

Sigh

Proxying

I don't know why or what was going through Jude*'s head when he nominated me as proxy. (*Jude, his actual name)

Okay, see definition of proxy as per dictionary.com

prox·y /ˈprɒksi/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[prok-see] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun, plural prox·ies.

1.	the agency, function, or power of a person authorized to act as the deputy or substitute for another.

2.	the person so authorized; substitute; agent.

3.	a written authorization empowering another person to vote or act for the signer, as at a meeting of stockholders.

4.	an ally or confederate who can be relied upon to speak or act in one's behalf.

Hello?

Me? Represent you? Are you sure I'm gonna do a good job?


I mean, here it is. The "going out getting to know more people" thingy. And I did it.

(Besides the fact that it's a Martell event, meaning I can have as much brandy as I need to calm my nerves)

I did it. There were a pool of female participants, which I (proxy) had to get to know and then write down 3 names on a piece of paper and "match make" them for a date on 10th Feb. No men were there to see the girls, just two groups, female participants and proxies.

Small world going smaller, I met two other people from the company, there as proxies. Excellent.


All in all, I did walk the room, scan the room and chat up as many girls as I can. No wonder Jude got me for this job. I'm a natural.

So so natural that I told the girls I met, I'm not a mama-san!

So, it was 2 hours of my evening, doing that thingy for Jude and then back at my desk. Jude was so afraid I wasn't gonna make it, or remember to make it that he had to call me 10 to 7 to remind me. Ha ha.

I ran out of the office (still obviously in my uniform) and into the next hotel. Wow.

I did it. And now, it's entirely up to Jude to go meet his "match".


I am certain he realised that I could have just as well sabotaged him as I did "fixing him up".


But I'm a nice person. And I won't be doing that to Jude who gave me the Uncle Jack line that I still so love.

Well, here it is again : I have to help my uncle jack off a horse vs I have to help my Uncle Jack off a horse.


Take care. Love you.

Sundays On The Floor

The Season 3 Disc 7 was buggered. And there goes my entire Sunday of spending the day with Jack. Both episodes on Disc 7 was not running. So, I can't possibly skip 2 hours of Jack's life. It would go haywire.

So I spent Sunday repeating my Sex & The City Season 1. Where Carrie meets Big.

Carrie keeps bumping into Big as places and when they actually arrange to meet for a "date", Big didn't want to call it a date. It was a thing. Just a thing.

And Big called to say he can't meet her at Chaos. Ha ha.

Murphy.

Carrie is familiar with Murphy. And Carrie is used to disappointments.

Nothing new.

Even old stuff, like catching CSI Supreme Sundays beginning 9 pm, was interrupted when Mac started to get interesting. Jules and KK was downstairs. Honking. Refusing to stop honking till I go out with them.

Jules called me, "Do you hear us!! We can keep honking till you leave the house!!!!!!!!"

Yes, honey. I'm sorry. I really don't feel like.

"Okay. We'll just honk somemore.

ARGHHHHHHH




Things that family will do to humiliate you.

I was home alone. So I might as well. And I did.


We went to a cozy corner and sat down talking, for two hours. Just the 3 of us. I didn't even have time to tell Mom I was gonna go out for a while. I just threw on something decent and left the house.

Over my usual Milo Kosong Panas, Jules, me and KK ate and ate. That's what I've been doing the entire Sunday beginning 10 am!

Jules went CNY shopping with KK and I really didn't wanna leave home. I just wanted to smell like home.

But nights home alone are common. And I thought, I'm glad I did. Although I wasn't glad that Jules got me out of the house by humiliation.

I did that, I went out for mamak and I'm glad I did. Although the week I'm currently having has been nothing but sucky. It's just silly. Silly silly things that doesn't stop.

God give me strength to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know how to change the things I can.

But enough slapping. I don't even know if I want to know anymore.



Over mamak session with Cat on Wednesday night, we had similar conversations. Just the two of us, at a loud crowded place, passing the same road block twice, and didn't end the night till morning at 2.30 am.

I told her I'd want to know. If she's my friend, she'd tell me. And she said she would. It was the same thing Chairwoman and I have agreed to.


We'll leave it at that.

Sending The Wrong Message

Okay. Let me be completely honest. When it comes to sending the wrong message to the wrong person, I'm so professional at it, I sometimes wish I will just stop.

I got into deep end twice, by 9 pm this evening. Twice that I cannot believe I was so stupid. But I was. Wait, not was, still is.

So worried that I might send the wrong message to the wrong person, I decided to keep the phone and call Chairwoman. It's easier that way. I couldn't (wouldn't) be speaking to anyone else than Chairwoman!

But I didn't. I was afraid I'd dial the wrong number. So phones kept, desk phone, (don't look at it) kept. It's out of sight.

Now just contain it. You don't have to tell Chairwoman you sent the wrong message to the wrong person twice!

Yeah, he'll think i'm trying to get his attention. Again.

Now we can't have that for his huge head, can we?

I was sold

Yesterday, I went back to the pet shop where I first saw the Pug and took my mom with me.
This time, I asked to pet the Pug. And when I held her... I was sold.

I've gotten her a name. Now I just need to get her. The cutest and most adorable look on her face made me held on to her with so much longing. I remember when the last time was, that I felt exactly like this. And I almost cried.

My mom excused herself. She's not a pet person. But it doesn't really matter. I felt like I have Thumbtacks then and all I need is Thumbtacks.

I think I stood there and held her for about 10 minutes before I was willing to let go. I wanted to pick up the phone and call Jules and say, "Hey! I'm with Thumbtacks and she makes me so happY!"

I was sold. Thumbtacks is the puppy I'm going to get. (or maybe I should just stop holding, be it puppy or whatsoever.)

The thought of needing someone, something is killing me. Deslex has been using sifu key words on me and he's getting nowhere. Yeah, I know the drill. I have the CDs. I have the books. But I'm just still here.

Even worse, Deslex thinks I should get a puppy. Don't indulge me in the fact that I do need. But thank you for your thoughts that the puppy will bring me some joy. I think exactly the same.

It's the weekend again. The Saturdays are slightly different now. I always have the girls...