That Time Of The Year Again!

That time of the year again when everybody is waiting for their monetary rewards.
I don't need to say more. The deciding potatoes will be, tomorrow.

More updates after tomorrow, I guess.

First Float

I went for my first float this morning. Finally. The first for this year, on 29th Jan. Wow. I really took my time getting back to it! But actually, I spent more time in the sun than I did in the water.

Who cares. I did go and float.

Lately, I really don't feel like blogging. Don't know why.

I spent Saturday morning at work, and Saturday afternoon with Jules and Daphne. Raiding Bangsar again. I window shopped. But they really shopped. And I watched. They are getting ready for CNY and I. Okay. Full stop.

I spent Sunday, doing the usual thing. On the floor in front of the tv. With Jack. Jack Bauer. I'm on Season 3 now. 5.00 pm.

As I watched on from Season 1, it began to get to me. I'm really glad Season 4, 5 and 6 is on standby for me. So when I finish Season 3, I have it! No need The Land of Cheap DVDs. It's there already!

Bless!! =)

Therapeutic Dev

I saw the first glimpse of Dev online yesterday. She just got back from INDIA. A family trip they have been planning since forever. I've heard her talk about it since she joined the Ritzy place.

So it finally came true for her family. They spent 2 weeks and she hated all 2 weeks of it, except the last day. Coz it meant them being back in KL again.

No, they had no relatives in India. They just wanna do it coz that's what INDIAN families do!

Ohkay. Next on her itinerary!!

I finally did leave office early. Since I got back on Tuesday, I opened and locked the office. And early on Wednesday got me promising to myself that I will walk out that door at 7.00 pm.

At 7.10 pm, I was reminded that I'm late leaving the office.

I have been ready-ing myself to leave office since 6.00 pm!! I made a quick call to Dev and she's meeting up with Kimmy and Tam-Tam. Excellent. Just the girls.

I left office and walked over to Dev's place at the horrible Imbi. I don't know why she still lives there. But it's a first this year, and it's the first time I've seen her in a very long time... Since my wedding dinner, to be exact..

She's got so many things to share with us since she only just got back on Monday, and back in her apartment on Tuesday, back in office on Wednesday.

I didn't realise how therapeutic it was, to sit with 3 other girls and laugh out loud. We laughed so loud.. And I was so glad. It really felt like right then, I didn't need nobody else..

It was the first time I went to Dev's place. Scary to walk alone at night and all. But you know what? Our god-damned college used to have a god-damned quarter on IMBI. WE HATED IT. WE HATE climbing over gates. Coz gates close at 11 pm. When I was in college, Jess and I (along with CRIME LORD James, the Filth Element) didn't miss a single night of Ladies Night at Bravo's. Okay, maybe we weren't so notorious, but that didn't mean we didn't climb the gates at Cheng's!!

So, mamak was where we were gonna meet. Dev calls it Johnny's. Jess and I call it Beaver's. If you meet Johnny, you will realise why I called him Beaver.

Same old, same old. Really. Just like when we were back in college. The only thing is, I put on weight, Dev put on glasses, and Beaver's had some silver hair. And a TV with satellite channel. AND a lot more fluorescent lights!

We sat around for more than 2 hours, before my ride home came. I didn't realise that with all that laughing, it was so late already. I actually showered and went to sleep pretty well.

Dev was so animated when she spoke of her adventures. I wish I could take a picture of her. But she didn't let me. It's just so weirdly wonderful. We've been friends for nearly 10 years. But the really scary thing is, we've been under employment of the same company for 7 out of the 10 years we've been friends.

I need to breath.





So so scary.

Old

Old news. Old pix. Old friends. Old people. Old car. Old man. Old shit. Old place. Old junk.

Just plain old.

Deslex was doing his best in standing on his head to cheer me up today. God knows everybody who called yesterday got slaughtered because I was out OOO at home and spent time with Jack Bauer.. I was pale and colourless yesterday.

Despite being it, I was in office and ready at 8.30 am. Stupid girl when my shift starts at 10.00 am. Talking about bounce. Talking about coming back with a vengeance. Anyway, my number crunching bit on Monday was due and I had to come in early to get a start on the delayed reports.

What Deslex did was, sent me a couple of pictures from OLD times. Sheesh. I have forgotten these pix were taken. I have forgotten JC used to take so many pictures of me. I have forgotten that with JC, everywhere I went it was accompanied by camera flashes. I have forgotten that with JC, everywhere he went, his camera was always with him...


Okay. This was taken in... 2002. I don't have to say where that is taken, it's pretty obvious!

That's Deslex sending this pic back to me saying, "See, you are not fat!"

Sure, pic from 5 years ago. I am not fat...


Have you seen me lately, only one pair of pants fit me now!!!!


I wish I don't eat so much now. I wish I don't just keep munching away. I wish I would go back floating. I wish I would just care a little bit more about me.

OOO

I don't remember a time when I was "down" for so long.

I was OOO yesterday.

Still looking for my bounce. With y being gone, and x gone last year, the only contant man in my life is Jack Bauer.

I'm at Season 2, 7.00 pm. Lucky Jack.

First Cuppa

I did a bad thing today. I spent more money. All the money I save from eating sandwiches at my desk, spent on an Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato. A coffee from Planet Starbucks. At 3.00 pm.

I don't take coffee after 3 pm. But I made an exception by indulging to my first whiff of Planet Starbucks this afternoon.

Horrible horrible girl.

New Toy

The N80, is a really fun toy. But then, it's not mine. And what's not mine, has to be returned...

What came as a surprise to me was, a similar phone. Black. Slide.

Lovely. It felt good in my hands, but I got so many thumbprints on them. I was even so careful I didn't remove any plastic off it.

But I'm a Sony E person. Everybody knows I'm a Sony E person. But beggars can't be choosers. I just accepted the gift...

And what I did next to accessorise.. was buy a memory card of 1 G, screen protector and a plastic casing. I'm spending a lot of money! HELP!!

I even bought a pair of 3 inches heel work shoes. Yeah, work shoes. That high for work shoes.

I also walked to Pod shop to get a screen protector for my slim Pod. Didn't work. Too bad.

So all those afternoons of having sandwiches at my desk is just so I could afford to accessorise. Stupid girl.

Losing Weight

On Sunday, I did the inadmissible. I think I went to 20 different shops. Every time they asked me if I was looking for anything in particular, I said, "Yes. Very particular. The colours has to be yellow, orange or pink".

Silly. Why did Qert have to go and have some coloured theme!!

I tried on like 20 different dressed and walked out disappointed. That's the problem with being particular. Just like when I try to shop for work shoes. Doesn't happen. And when I don't, it happens. Murphy is as Murphy does.

So, the entire afternoon just walking about. Walking walking walking or trying dresses. Tiring lah!

This is a chore. Something I have to do (ahem) And believe me, the company was bored. And the company was lazy. And the company hates it that I'm hopping in and out of shops faster than he could walk.

Time wasn't on my side, but at least, I did go to Jack's place. And I did have pork chop!

Jack's place is like the congregational makan place for all pork lovers. I've met so many people at Jack's place it's sometimes scary!!

Anyway, so, the conclusion is, I walked off the pork chop and I even manage to squeeze in trips to two pet shops. And I think I'm gonna go ahead with the Pug. Don't ask me why. But I'm feeling partial to the Pug. Such little thing of joy. I have to have one!!

Still have half a year to decide and find my Pug a suitable home.

Oh wait, still conclusion : I ended up wearing Julius' dress. Nothing to do with the theme.


Ya so, we were at the same table with Jason and Jin-wannabe-dorg-next-life. And Boss with signature frown, another table. Zero, an even further table. (Further coz we were closer to the back and the exit! ha ha)


It was a 9-course dinner which we left after the 5th course. At 11 pm, it was gonna take all night!


Wait, I did have pink. It is my pair of LV bobbles. (actually called Hair Cubes or some funny shit like that, don't remember)

So, all that walking in the afternoon trying to spend some money and buy a nice dress to the wedding, total waste of time. What's even worse is, let's not talk about it.

The Wedding Of The Year

This was what Jason was driving! A classic!!

And Jason did it so well.

Grant Corben captured such momentus pictures. There was nervous Jason on the porte cochere with Jin-wannabe-dorg-next-life. And when the slide came on, I was so excited, I said, "JASON!! YOU DA MAN!!"

And you know what was even better? Was that when Jason went over to Qert's place, he only took the car for one left turn and one right turn. And then he joined the rest of us at Qs. Ha ha ha.

Jason left early on Friday night. He had this huge responsibility of delivering Qert and Ms. Silverbird.

The party on Friday night didn't end till 4 am. I left at 10 past 3. I'm amazed I got up and went to the wedding.


Jason, you da man!!

I wasn't late, but I did feel like a car crash victim. But I went anyway, just to say hi to this person.

Amazing. He's grown up so much and lost so much weight in between!! Congrats on a beautiful wedding.

Pictures taken for the first time, not using my usual stalkerazzi camera. Pictures captured by N80. (too many things already in my clutch bag!!)

Reasons to blog

OR not to.

It really doesn't matter. It's a lousy journal. It's a lousy reminder.

What used to make me smile and grin and go so crazy? I just got reminded of that question today.

And I realise that I have to find something to make me smile and grin and go so crazy now. One new thing to make me go crazy like that. Maybe not like that, that used to be so intense, so crazy. So consuming.

So no more.
So gone.



I don't know why and don't understand. But not everything is up to me. Not everything has been. So it's okay. No closure. No expectations. Nothing.

Designated Jason

I was on the way to see Glamour Sally when Jason Lai caught me in the lobby.

Glamour Sally sent me a nasty email last night reminding me of the floating privileges I have been enjoying (not yet this year, but she wouldn't know anyway!)

Jason Lai came to me with excited new, "Qert called me last night. I'm designated driver?!!"

Wow!! Are they using the 7 series?

"No. The classic Merc"

KAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKKAKAa.

Yay! Stick!! I love the shift stick!!

"Uh. I'm going over there tonight to make sure I don't crash the wedding couple tomorrow. I'm Schumacher tonight!"

Okay. I will stay away.




While the entire office parties tonight at Sucken's farewell in probably the Qs or the Gs, Jason will be learning how to drive the stick. And me in my effort to find my y, will probably end up in the office again till late.

You Learn

This is a more radio-friendly Alanis Morissette song. My Alanis Morissette song came early today on Traxx FM.

This new year, I just noticed I have not dropped by Planet Starbucks at all. Everybody knows now that I'm running so tight that everyday, I eat bread at my desk for lunch. I have not even had a taste or a smell at Planet Starbucks.

When I returned to the office on Thursday, 4th January, he was rushing for a PM flight and had no time for a quick sit-down with me. And till today, he's still away. So, no invitation for The Couch. Even if I know my planner's waiting for me, I didn't go see Daniel about it.

I'm still waiting to see when I'd bring myself to indulge in this supposed addiction that I've been doing without.

Goes to prove, dispensable is everything.



Just about breaking patterns. In a heartbeat.


Now where are my Anthony Robbins ® CDs?? Deslex claims that it's because I have not been reading his books and listening to his CDs enough. But it's time to get back to it, isn't it?

You Learn. Yes. And I keep learning...

Hands In My Pocket

Traxx FM is the official radio station of this song. They play at least one Alanis Morissette song a day. If today didn't play Hands In My Pocket, I won't be blogging.

That is how disinterested I am in blogging.

I had dinner plans this Thursday evening. Like everything anticipated, it blows up in my face. Whatever!!

I don't even know I know why I let myself get disappointed. It was something I thought I should do, my y.

I should just jump back into work and into oblivious.



TK already has blood on the dance floor. I don't think more would help or enough would be enough. It's said, it's done, TK to move on.

Good night and good luck.

Uninspired

When Boss came back on Friday, she sat down and started doing this tedious chore of writing the minutes of the last meeting. And she sighed in exhaustion saying, "I am not inspired to write this minutes!!"

And then the sigh was contagious, many of us sighed too.

First, I was sighing that I'm closing payroll. So early in the month. It's been moved forward for the last 2 months. We're changing banks from The World's Local Bank to a real local bank. Sheesh.

Second, was our schedule for the month of January 2007. It is still not out. To date, it is still not out!

Third, Rina left a lot of mess for us to handle. A few cases escalated to Boss. And she called Rina, who was on 10 days leave and said a few things... loudly. The rest of us in the office were just glad that she didn't call us instead and were happy to be not Rina.

I am totally uninspired to blog.

Yesterday, Boss didn't leave till 9.30 pm. So that would mean I didn't leave till 10.00 pm. I thought I would get home really exhausted and tired. But I got home, and couldn't sleep a wink.

Today, was morning spent number crunching and formula figuring. Deslex's friend was being interviewed by Trax FM at 11.00 am. For someone who notices when the radio talks a lot, I didn't notice. I didn't even notice what time it was, that I finally got to breath right... until I heard an Alanis song on Trax FM.

Alanis Morissette doesn't make radio-friendly songs. When her songs are being played on air, it is usually either Head Over Feet or Ironic. But what was playing on air, So Pure, is not radio-friendly at all. And it made me smile.

Because today, I've only noticed 3 songs on Trax FM. Afterglow INXS, So Pure Alanis Morissette and right now, Need You Tonight INXS.

I remember Need You Tonight most at CBTL in Penang Airport. Where my brick Pod was being held in his hands. I remember it because that feeling was foreign. And I blogged it too.

Unchartered territory : We went grocery shopping on Sunday. Like every other couple. The part that even made us like every other couple, was having dinner with his brother and wife, Cyndi. Family dinner on Sunday. Wow. That was unprecedented. And for as long as I could remember, a first. A first without my FIL bringing us together.

Unchartered territory : Alanis Morissette's Uninvited playing on air while we were at Carrefour grocery shopping. And I smiled. I smiled because she was singing what I was feeling. Completely, totally, honestly knowing it is unchartered territory we were in.

Bygones.

Qert's big invitation card arrived on Friday. Jason hand delivered it to my office. Along with a few laughs. Doh.

Jason has shopped over the weekend for the outfit for Qert's big day. Oh yeah, golfing buddies!! And me, this is public appearance and I wonder if I could spare myself. Chairwoman however, was enthusiastic. Not surprising. Considering her last 3 nights. I don't even know if I wanted to know about it. Or if I wanted to hear what she was telling me. But a friend is a friend is a friend. And she confided in me. And I am this emotional toilet.

Already not able to digest my own emotions, Chairwoman shared information I didn't know I want to slap her silly or just give her some of my Xanax. Proved she needed sanity more than a clouded mind these Xanax give me, I spared her the pills in my selfishness.

I need them.

She doesn't.

Then again, who am I to judge?


I am a lousy judge of character and has always laid my open book. One person couldn't understand how I could leave myself vulnerable. And he has reminded me since.

What I have done to make me feel better, in other words, my y. Jack Bauer. 24.

Stupid silly 24. I feel asleep on Season 1 Episode 3. Ha ha ha. And this series came highly recommended. Obviously nothing compared to Horatio, but this is not even getting close. Okay. Maybe it was because there were no gaya side profile, hands on hips scenes. Jeez.

I've completed Nip/Tuck Season 3 and since my plan to complete 6 seasons of 24 has derailed, I wonder if I should start on Murder One.

Does anyone remember when Keifer Sutherland was in Flatliner? He was so good looking with so much potential. Maybe it was because I was only 10 when I watched the movie with my sis. I also used to think Kevin Bacon was amazing. But that was Footloose, not Flatliner, that made me think Kevin Bacon is almost, almost the dancer I wanted to be. Ha ha.

Laughs on me.


Back to my number crunching.





No wonder I am so totally uninspired.

Somewhat Lost

Rose & HS played the best hosts they ever could, that anybody could! We were so blessed to have them as hosts.

There was 6 of us in that only car that was engineered to miss that cow. Wait, 6, if you could the baby Rose is gonna be having in August. He he.

This is Tom & Jerri. Posing for me, this pic titled, Somewhat Lost.

Qoo

I cannot seem to find Qoo back. I went to so many supermarkets. But only found Qoo in foodcourts. No prob.

I happen to catch this pic with my sissy's mouth looking just like Qoo's. Kakakakkaka.

Happy New Year!

New Year. What's new about it besides my pair of mary janes? For Stiff, new ties, new crocs, new salary, new office, new expectations, new commitments.

For me, I am and is still trying to keep my sometimes idle mind from playing hard tricks on me.

I woke up crying on 1st Jan. I had a dream. I had a dream about this person.

It was really strange, because I tried not to think about him. I tried my best not to think about anything to do with him. After 2 days in between 26th and 27th Dec, I thought I succeeded. It didn't hurt as bad. I was in solitaire with my own thoughts and emotions, I could express it as I want to. I was home alone and I felt safe.

During this 2 days of solitary, I thought that if it hurt, I will cry. If it hurt more, I will cry more. And then I will move on. But I didn't cry. I thought about him a lot but I didn't cry. I wasn't sure if subconsciously I didn't want to cry because crying will mean that I would have done the former and then the latter will come. I didn't want to. Because I couldn't give it up.

The dream came too out of the sudden, because I felt that I have cleared my mind quite a lot for my trip to Sin. Considerably. 3 consecutive days. I thought for once I didn't feel like all I could think about was him.

I woke up crying and I was afraid. It's the new year. And I don't know why or what I was afraid of. But the dreams of him only got worse since 1st Jan.

Now I can't stop thinking about him and I also can't stop the dreams that come.

Same new year resolution like last year, to make it through this one with less drugs.

Making AEH

On Jan 1, 2007, Stiff finally made AEH.

It hasn't been easy for him since April 2006. We both started this out on April together, on the same day. Doesn't matter if Boss with signature frown was making things worse for him and for me, but result and monetory satisfaction came for him in efforts of only 8 months.

But he finally made AEH. And I wasn't around. I was still jollying in Sin.

Congrats.

Because he made AEH, and I didn't make anything, my mary janes is my gift.. ;-)

Thanks...

Introducing Mary Jane

Mary Jane is a song by Alanis Morissette in her Jagged Little Pill album. My favourite album to start on any Alanis Morissette songs, track : All I Really Want.


And let me be completely honest, the kids selection of mary janes, has such better vibrant colours. And I'm so glad I'm still a size 4.

I bought a pair of mary jane for myself, and some accesories. I love my mary janes!!