TGIF

Thank God It's Friday. I have been so looking forward.

I know I will miss my team and my children silly. I have had an amazing week. Amazing in the sense of achievement, not in the sense of other things :P

I have already prepared my "Out Of Office" responder and cannot wait till 5 pm to have it set on. It's going to be my first time ever at being away from office for 11 days.

Don't miss me. Happy Lunar New Year!

Friday - Checklist day!

Time to bring out the check list! (Finally!)

Shine away for 11 days beginning 28th Jan √

Leave company mobile phone somewhere unattended √

Place a rude auto-responder on your email √

Tell everyone, including the kakak that clears the landscape in the building that I am on leave √

Rewards...

It was this event, this evening, that we have all been waiting for. It is 4 days to the Lunar New Year and guess what, it's also very close to the end of the month. So that means we only want one thing. We want to be rewarded justly.

Time to reflect on the entire year. Has it been deserving? Have I been consistently performing? Did I do what is right, what is needed to improve and grow our business? Do I deserve to be awarded monetary terms?

Frank said it right, "If you think about it before you go to bed it would break you up. If you do think about it before you go to bed, you shouldn't be allowed to even go to bed!"

Was it disappointing for me? I have no right to expect anything. It is to the management's discretion. I am lucky to get anything. Such has been the lessons drilled into my head. Such has which I have lived by. Last year, this year, the coming years...

Baited breath...

The day didn't crawl by. I had my triple shot grande latte while trying to wake up to the afternoon. I made short trips to the Deli to sit with Chris-noone-sits-next-to-me-and-doesn't-drink Superman. I wanted to speak to someone, and he was there. He had time.

The evening has been anticipated, with Chairwoman. I was in the lobby by 4.30 pm. I was upstairs by 5.00 pm. Much to my amusement, Qert is once again the emcee. Back by popular demand, I was told. Then told again that I am not included in the list of popular demand, as my jaw dropped.

So what changed?

Yeah, I wondered what changed. But that wouldn't keep me from doing what I am here to do. I am to be a star, I am to shine. But no, I am the wicked witch.

I am the only one who knew what happened, what exactly happened in 1623.

I didn't sing it to the world because I am not the kind who tells. Now guess what, twisting the story and making me look like the Evil Wicked Witch.

My first reaction was to call Qert. He gave me some sound and good advise. I could have called Chairwoman and heard exactly what I wanted to hear, feel exactly riled up like I wanted to. But no, I called Qert because I knew he will be advise me as it should.

It's not personal, it's business. I am here to help run the business and that is what I will do. It's water under the bridge and I won't swim there no more.

Do you remember....?

Yes. I do. With a lot of things, that's me. I remember many things. Too many things I would have to admit. Even things that are useless for me and wouldn't do me any good. That's how sucky it is to have good memory, not memories.. Good memories, good. Good memory, bad.

There was a time, not too long ago, this person was almost getting there. Only needed a tie. That was one occasion. One of which I chose to remember. The bad ones, unfortunately, I remember more. And now this person is lower than the lowliest.

Today, because I am stupid and I did a silly mistake, I had to receive the consequences.

If you only knew, well, Jin-wanna-be-dorg-next-life and Chairwoman knew. I received alarming confession. Chairwoman and Jin laughed their ass off. I should have kept that text messages and showed everyone. Probably then more people would understand why I react the way I did today.

This person who once, day after day, relentlessly sent me endearing things worthy of King of Kings. That was then, this is now.

Biting off more than you can chew...?

Ha ha ha... Can this ever happen? For some narcissist like me... Impossible!

Have a good weekend, y'all!

Continued from 3 days ago...

And, I told him I couldn't write.

I couldn't write if I was given 5 francs.
I lied through my teeth.

Qert seem to think that keeping a blog means writing. Not in the context of hospitality, just ... different kind of writing. I can never do what Anne did. I can write Carrie, but I cannot write Anne.

I was rude to Qert this morning. I had a frown still intact, at this hour of the day. It's been a long and tiring one, but I can still keep up this frown. I think I have done quite enough today....

(Shine on Wed, January 18, 2006 9:52 pm)

Continued... 3 days delayed...

Newly dubbed with the frown that makes plant wither, I realise that I need to be far from the maddening crowd. Or if you have seen Josh-oO-AhhHh lately, you would have said I need to be far from the darkened crowd. LOL.

I took the next 2 days off, and made an appointment with my hairstylist to have my hair cut. I finally have time to trim these grass that has been growing out of my ears. I kept them there because yesterday I had the lecture on right and wrong vs appropriate. (You should see me, I am beautiful! Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder....)

It proves realiable (for then) but the same thing happened, just like his signature closing speech, "I don't know if this has helped you or hurt you...."

Rubbed... Rubbed-A-Dubbed-Dubbed...

As it draw closer to the fact that I am getting binded to a lifetime contract in March, everything matters, every cent counts.

I stood and watched Qert pay up a large amount (to me) to the people who plays cheezy retro 80's I'm-So-Madonna-So-Let's-Workout place. I was silently shaking my head and I grew green. Green with the idea. I could have had a larger diamond. I could have had an overdose of gargantuan Pod. I could have invited 2 more tables at the wedding dinner.

All the "Could Have's" went through my head when throughout the entire ordeal of rubbing off wrong to Qert the last few days (and today aswell), I need to get a hold of my thoughts and re-organise them. I grew green and almost let the anger consume me. If Qert was still on the team and Boss is still Boss, I would have been sent off work. But no, I continued to work. With a frown as intact as the one my Boss has. I seem to have taken over his position of being the frowner.

Bad Medicine

... A song by Bon Jovi...

Was almost what I got. 5 days after my case of tummy cramps and pot-loving throwy Shine, I still have it.

Active hurling and rumbling is what I still have. Today, I threw up once and went downloading twice. Twice I tried to go to the staff cafeteria (special menu day), twice I ran to the loo coughing and subsequently hurling my stomach content into the sink. (sick, I agree)

I haven't had anything solid today. Nothing. Not even biscuits.

Because I have had this all day, I rubbed off wrong on Qert. I called him, wanted to invite him to come dine with us for the loan of the wedding car. I totally forgot to tell him that, only managed to ask him of his new Taiwanese dining experience. I didn't really want to hear it, I was just asking because I was being nice. I am still very throwy.

Congratulations on that big step you're taking towards adulthood (I almost typed adultery)

The more I talk about it, the more throwy I get. I'm going to stop telling people I'm getting binded by a lifetime contract. And please, don't remind me.

Can my life be any more drama than this?

May I have less drama in my life? A case of the opposite : A little less conversation a little more action please.

I left the tower to have lunch close to 3 pm. We went to see the new swanky Japanese restaurant next door. And carried the hunger for sushi with us to L0-Yat. It was when we were deciding to make a move that the skies opened for us. We jumped a cab and headed towards the tower.

On the way back, I received an "emergency" call from Boss saying that I should be back in the property. I ran across the wings of the hotel to the tower only to find.... myself, the second person at the crime scene.

The first : My pa attendant, wet. From head to toe. With his mop, furiously mopping.

The third : My frowning Boss.

The forth : My innocent Butler.

The maintenance team, running about on ground floor... I should not have disturbed their orchestrated movements.... Only to hear, "Ok. This cubicle close first!"

Case dismissed.

Ha? That's it? Come on! You guys didn't make me come back from lunch next door, with a cab just to hear "close first!"

Sigh...

The car that would be my wedding car..

The car that would be my wedding car...

Thank you. To the person sitting inside that car when this picture was taken... Thank you for providing the use, as my wedding gift...

Feels so empty without me.

3 things that would be a me thing.

My miniature Pod.

My Horatio glasses.

My Starbucks latte.

What would they say about you....?

What defines me?

What would they write on my tomb when I pass on?

Is it too late?

I was reading a close friend's blog and I realise that what's always tied in with NY is NY resolution. He'd listed his top 5. I don't plan on listing any top 5, only 1. One very crucial and important to me.

My hero said to me the other day, "Why are you on downers?"

I didn't know what to say.

My trusted No. 2 asked me 2 days before the NY. She asked, "What is your NY resolution?"

I said, "To be a stronger person without depending on drugs."

Xanax, Somese, Happy Pills, all these are "friends" (or foe) I am intending to leave in the past, under rug swept. I hope that 2k6 will be a better year without these "friends".

Between now, till in March (when I am binded to a lifetime contract) I have so much to do, so many things to see to, so much money to spend... I'm taking that big step... Maybe I have finally grown up, but it is going to be that... I want to be a stronger person. Without depending on drugs.

"I'm getting married..."

J : I love you. You... complete me..
D : Shut up. You had me at "hello"

Must there be so much drama in my life? For the Sex-And-The-City drama-flair that I am, is it really going to happen? Am I a Carrie? Will I turn out like how Carrie and Aidan turned out to be? Or am I a Charlotte?

I must be a Samantha somewhere deep and hidden. (If anyone in agreement, please say "Aye")

While being in the middle of it all...

• I didn't sleep on New Year's Eve. I had a bottle of bubblies, one white wine, and half a dozen of Heineken. I changed out of my jammies and showered to go to work.
• I actually wrote a statement about that piece of jerk.
• I didn't go ahead with the statement proceedings.
• I was afraid of him on Tuesday, and I was on top of the word on Wednesday
• I want to be the next Pink Ank.

So caught up..

I have been so caught up in the agitated cycle of part-work part-emotion that I have totally forgot to put down in blog and stay blog-ever in cyberspace. I had an outing with my new best friend and Ms. Mia and Mr. Road. We went to Ikea, the children went to Playland.

It was the most peaceful one hour of our day with the children. I was so amazed with the way the children took to me. And at the snack place, we bumped into an unsuspecting guest star, The German. (I swear I am not stalking him)

I managed to go home to see my parents in-law, who were sky-high blown away with the fact that I'm there with them at home. I spent the next 2 days turning pink in eating, sleeping and.. er... eh... and sleeping :)