100th post

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

I like this speaking in 3rd person thing. I love The Fight Club. In the same way that I love Casablanca, you know what movie I feel like watching? Andy Lau and Sammi Cheng's Yesterday Once More. It is one of those movie with the ending like any Hindi movie. Sad and moving. It had me crying my eyes out. Just like My Left Eye Sees Ghost. The first time I watched it, Steve and my relationship was broken. The second time I watched it, was with Steve. He healed me and made me better. I watched the movie holding his hands and didn't cry my eyes out. Now I have better association with that movie.

Just feeling sappy like I was, I wanted to watch Yesterday Once More. I had this urge this morning when I was on the way to work.

I was mostly awake last night, I was holding on to my phone as if I expected text messages. Never again will I keep one eye on the phone at night when I'm supposed to be asleep. So you see, Steve was busy watching Battusai. Today is his last day on leave and he's trying to finish all the disc for Season 1 from Chairwoman. It was 3 am. I woke up knowingly. I looked to the next bed and it was empty.

I woke again at 4 am, and there this comforting sight was there. Snoring and talking in his sleep. I woke again at 6 am, knowing I had to get up very soon. It was tiring, keep waking up like that. Good thing the weather was too cool for me to wake up in cold sweats and cold feet.

My Saturday feels dazed and I was on over-hyped adrenaline and was buzzing. Today I broke my pattern and went to SF for Life is Good. I had to begin dealing with changes in my life. Like at line-up this morning. We talked about adaptation to change and versatility.

Mr. E holds excellent line-ups and I remember it fondly at it was more than 5 years ago that I was feeling completely re-energised in the morning, looking at every brand new day as a challenge. It was reinforcing for the team and the questions they had for me this evening was so sobering.

I almost sob, for it not being what I have conditioned my mind to.

I need to move on to a different paradigm and The Late Supper last night was so refreshing to know that I will marry the right guy who will always be an assistance in my career. "You were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself. What was wrong with me?"

Un-sent.

This lady sings my life and I wish for her a safe and secure life with considerate people who will not toy with her emotions anymore. She needs to start singing more radio-friendly tunes. My angry song will stay my angry song and it will remain in my iPod for the occasional bouncing back from sadism.


I love you and I'm glad you love me too. Love doesn't make the world go round, it makes the ride worthwhile. There couldn't be a better posting for my 100th post than this to remind us all that there are good to great things coming up.

Help is on the way and I'm keeping a bright and cheerful sight on it, for my namesake.