First or Last

It is not my first, or my last First Class card ever. I have a few momentos that I keep to motivate me. For example, a card brought back all the way from Germany of The Man with The Voice. I love Frank. Thank You for an amazing gift and you are an amazing person.

Today, I am stuck with another headache. Everyday is a new headache for me. Everyday is a new challenge for me. So much so that I am grinning from ear to ear. When life slams you down, you grin. :D

I received a long email this morning, it got me thinking. It got me counting my blessings, and this person counting the days. Yes, days like those were few. But they were good. Thank you for being a part of my life when everything else was void. Thank you for being my conscience and the better in everything I was doing.

Thank you Qert for sending me home in style last night, when I have already missed out on Mac. I know I will miss out on Grissom again tonight. I know it.

There are days when you wake up at the wrong side of the bed, it is not the first, or the last. There will be days like that again, as certain as the mamak stall is a mamak stall. A year will pass on really quick. A quarter of the year has passed on really quick. Everything has been a blur for me. I've either still have brain freeze from this cold and freezing job that I have, or I've just gone numb.

Today I had coffee with a friend from the past, German as ever and still wittingly amusing. (I'm not kidding)

He said a few things and we shared some horror jokes of the industry. It was very flattering that he did drop by to see the 'deli' and said hi. Also sent me hilarious text message after I left the 'deli'.

There are so many things to keep me here, and so many things I want to leave behind. Part of it is, did I realise 5 years have gone by? What have I done? What did I do? I'm in the same environment and yet a totally different feel. I guess I am just not that same young and impressionable wide-eyed girl I was. Well, I know I am definately not young no more... But I have definately lost my sense of humour and replaced it with cynicsm and sarcasm.

I wish I was fun. I wish I had something to tell people, like where I hang out. (besides Cesar 1) The German got me thinking, there's really nothing proud of me to say about me, is there? I should play as hard as I work. But I feel so old at heart already.

Shine... Shine... Whatever happened to "play that keeps us sane"? Whatever happened to "religion that provides inner strength"? Whatever happened to "family with whom we justify our sole existance"? It has all been gobbled up by "work that provides sustenence".

When I leave this world, come see me with white lillies and make sure no one put words on my tombstone that said "She Lived For Work And Then She Died".

I count my blessings everyday. Rest assured you are all kept in my prayers. I know I have friends of few, but good ones.

Thank You.