Insensitive

I am one piece of insensitive shit.

It seems that my "open"-ness needs a little bit of closing. Chairwoman has a set of my locker keys. This morning, I walked into my new best friend. She.. is locked out of her locker. Her days has been crazy, her dad's been diagnosed with cancer, her husband (I don't want to talk about that a**) but her days.. been pretty much hayhire and upsetting. The children are restless, the job is frustrating.. all in all.. I understand why I found her standing outside my office, desperately wishing for my extra pair of heels, making do with even my worn down size 4.

I gave her my locker key. To keep her stuff, to access my stuff...

When I went to see her outside my office she asked me, in a very serious tone, "Shine. It's the first thing I saw when I open your locker. Please tell me it's over. Or are you still hanging on?"

....

She saw that box of mini cigar I have.. that I still keep.. and that is so one person. And she knows who it is. Because only one person in this whole world has that.

I didn't remember since when I've had it. But it was always there. Every morning when I open my locker. It's there. I see it. But I've never given it another thought. Until I find my new best friend outside my office, asking me this question.

"You can tell me if ... you're still.. hanging on, I can slap you silly. And you can also tell me if you both are.. back.. you know I'll be happy for you, right. If that's what you want...?"

I'm sorry honey. This is not the time nor the place to do this. But no, I am not still hanging on, I am not ... back..

"But the box is the first thing that stares in your face when you open that locker of your!?"

Yes, but I don't see it.

"He's not... .. uh.."

No. He's not.

I don't want to make this difficult for you. I know for a while we both confided in this same person. But I don't go to him anymore and you and me, we have no conflicting loyalties in between us anymore.