Special Ops

It's one of those unsaid thing... You're one of those so-called supposed "best hidden treasures" thing. They want you, they slot you. They don't want you, they remove you.

I'm part of the Special Ops.

With that comes no recognition and requires mental strengths to stay positive. They can't call you Special Ops. They can't call you anything in particular. They just bring you in and then quietly, you will go.

Qert calls it "Black Ops".

As much Murphy as I try to keep away.. I've been Murphed.

Just when I thought I could settle down and move with my team for the transition period, I've lost it. When I return, my team will no longer be mine. I've lost having the chance to provide positive reinforcement for the team and myself. That's the matter, I delayed it. I should have started from the beginning that it was what I needed to do and didn't.

Isn't life always like that? When you miss the chance, then you regret it.

When I return, my team will be to SY's discretion. And I will have to accept...

Being back in this office makes me feel so jaded. Didn't I spend 2 1/2 years in this office then decide to get out? When I left I felt so liberated.

What I miss about the office I was so happy to be rid of : 5 day week

What I like about being in this office I was once happy to be rid of : I see him

That is my silver lining for this bit. I love him. I love being able to see him.

I love being what is good for him. I know with this love, I won't get hurt. That's why I love him unconditionally.