Monday, October 03, 2005

What are you made of?

They say many a things. They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". That must be some masochistic's view of things. Alanis says, "Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am".

Do you test your limits?

Today I went up to the Tower to watch the display of lightning during the shower in the afternoon. That pleases me. Once again, I am reminded of Almighty Him, who has power and control to throw bolts of jarring pain and torment.

What are you made of?

I have not been able to get through the ghost of the monkey. He still haunts me and was the starring role in the nightmare I had early this morning. Even in my dreams, I will never win. No matter what I do, no matter how I refrain, no matter how I stay in non-reaction, I feel so defeated in this cat-and-mouse thing.

Boss came back to the office today. He was less on my ass than I expected. I gave out a sigh of relieve. I am absolutely exhausted even before he came back. He wanted me to schedule my leave until end of this year.

I have been absolutely restless. I have yet to bleed. So many things going through my head and I feel completely drained and stupid.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Is this what you're made of?

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