This Is It

I don't even what position Schumi is starting. But in about 2 hours, we will know if Schumi is going to finish this last season as a champion.

I checked my itinerary. And he's probably in Geneva now or in between London and Geneva. And will wake up at 7.30 am (his time) to watch the race.

Last night we car pooled to an aunt's. She was celebrating her big 60th birthday. Not the entire family was there. Jules is in JB. And there was no Boiler Room to be found in JB.

I have watched Boiler Room and loved it. Would be very nice to watch it again. Giovanni Ribisi played such an amazing character.

We were home by midnight and Tom and Jerri stayed on the floor with me as they spoke to mom. And I am so glad to be home. So glad to be with my sis and my mom.

Right now, there is 2 cars at home. Dad's and..

If I was a bigger person than my floor today, I would have driven the car home to Teluk Intan and left it there. But, I am not. This creature of habit will stay on the floor. Although my Sunday is already screwed.

Leave it.


As we came downhill yesterday, I took one of the travelling sickness pills. And had to close my eyes throughout. Because it didn't help. So I took out my Pod and listened to my music.

Albeit a big Pod, it played a song I have on my phone. A dedicated ring tone. And I know I will never hear this tune again on my phone. And I will not be able to remove this song from my Pod. There was silent tears. And I stopped to blow every so often.

The ball was never in my court. But that choice that was given to me, was that one thing that was up to me. I don't know if I could say it's been good. Or if it's been great. Because even when it's good, or great, I remember a lot of tears. A lot of hurt. A lot of pain. And a little bit. A lot of blanks. And a lot of questions that I never asked - because I don't ask.

And hardly a sense of fulfillment that was ...


Yeah, I want that strong Shine back too.