Whatever makes you happy...

This post is specially dedicated to all of us who has difficulties swallowing, not when surprised, more of like us who doesn't know when to back down. I have a feeling you know what I'm talking about.

I don't know how to stand down. I don't know how to retreat. When I go all out, I go all out. I realise it is the same as well when it comes to people unto your emotions. They go all out, to ruin and destroy your feel-good. They put in extra efforts in the morning. You know why...? What goes around, comes around. An eye for an eye, remember?

Get In. Get Out. Get Even.

I already didn't have a good start to the morning. My Boney M CD played a song and died on me, so did my Frank's Duets Album, and then did my Shania Twain. All my feel-good mojo disappeared when breakfast fellowship was dispersed thanks to the term "overslept". I'm a pattern person. This morning, my morning was totally berserk. It was haywire. One thing is constant. I will be conducting the line-up at 8.45 am. That is one certainty I can count on. And I have to motivate myself in order to motivate the team. And I am not there. Where ever there is.

It's these chain of events, one thing leading to another... Now I have to consider the consequences that I have rubbed off the wrong way with the team and they may not be as productive as they should.

Since I'm in my "whatever" mood, I should just go and get that fcuk shirt Chairwoman and I have been dying to get. I wear it and I don't need to say a thing. The first one reads, "Don't Make Me Say It". The second one reads, "Whatever".

Whatever makes you happy... Whatever. I wish you would just get what you need from me and leave me be. If you need to trample on me to feel better about yourself, go ahead. If you need to be using me as your emotional toilet and flush it all out on me, do it. Be my guest. Whatever it is you want from me, take it and just leave me alone.

Yes, I'm in an angry state of mind today. I will chew you up. Don't make me. Don't even tempt me.

Steve comes home today and I will finish early to see him. For the sake of my relationship, I don't want to be rubbing him the wrong way. I don't want to be bringing these to him. I don't want to take it out on him. He deserves better. And I will keep my temper and emotions in check and not spill it out onto him. I haven't seen him in 2 days. I want to see him happy...

I know he's worth it.

We may not sing the same tunes, we may not speak the same language. But when I am with him, I feel loved. He steps up to be the man and releases me so much of the burden on my shoulders, when I always feel like I need to be the man. And every other I meet is not good enough. If Steve wasn't good enough, would we have lasted 2 years?

Chairwoman asks me to consider again and don't be too rushed into saying another "whatever" when it comes to Steve. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for being so considerate. Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for being the best girlfriend to me.

I've gone so comfortable with Steve that even my unexpressed wishes are met. Tell me is that classic RC or what? And he's not even from RC background. He just loves me lah....

I know JC is resisting a remark, "I bet he wasn't always like that". No he isn't always like that. It's that he meets the mark more often than any of you all add up. If he was always like that, the benchmark would have been higher and I would have insisted he marry me immediately.

Again.. whatever makes you happy... (in whatever context you want to read it, receive it, perceive it)

Have a good weekend. And to the rest of us, have a good working weekened.