Murphy & Me...
Murphy loves me. He's been loving me his style for the last few days. You know they tell me that when you have negative thoughts you attract negative things. I believe it. Maybe because I believe in it that's why I'm living it.
Maybe because I believe in Murphy that's why Murphy finds me. I'm a believer.
I should stop thinking about Murphy and that we're "jinxed".
"What's with you and words?" Yeah, tell me. I want to know also.
I replied, "It's an intellectual game I enjoy playing." Come on. I'm stupid. Of course I love to learn more.
I'm the most accident prone person, the blur-est, the slowest, everything. I just need to feel intelligent sometimes, you know.. Don't blow my cover.
You know I spoke about being vulnerable.. Wel,, I've gone a little more than vulnerable now. It's like I've got no skin on these bones no more. I've laid it all out and stated my case. Yeah, now the fear of having it thrown back in your face.
The fear happened last night. I am no longer in control of my own emotions. I've been depending on this anchor. Yes, JC, I am doing it again, huh. Only this time I couldn't have chosen a worse anchor. I chose the worst. Congratulate me in how I always seem to be able to find the worse in people.
A fact to be amazed of. Steve and I have been together since Feb 2003.
Being the person who sometimes needs reminder via sms, I deleted all of his sms today. Be it sweet or be it mean, I deleted it. I no longer want to seek comfort in that. I rather just rely on myself...
Remind me. It's all about me.
Maybe because I believe in Murphy that's why Murphy finds me. I'm a believer.
I should stop thinking about Murphy and that we're "jinxed".
"What's with you and words?" Yeah, tell me. I want to know also.
I replied, "It's an intellectual game I enjoy playing." Come on. I'm stupid. Of course I love to learn more.
I'm the most accident prone person, the blur-est, the slowest, everything. I just need to feel intelligent sometimes, you know.. Don't blow my cover.
You know I spoke about being vulnerable.. Wel,, I've gone a little more than vulnerable now. It's like I've got no skin on these bones no more. I've laid it all out and stated my case. Yeah, now the fear of having it thrown back in your face.
The fear happened last night. I am no longer in control of my own emotions. I've been depending on this anchor. Yes, JC, I am doing it again, huh. Only this time I couldn't have chosen a worse anchor. I chose the worst. Congratulate me in how I always seem to be able to find the worse in people.
A fact to be amazed of. Steve and I have been together since Feb 2003.
Being the person who sometimes needs reminder via sms, I deleted all of his sms today. Be it sweet or be it mean, I deleted it. I no longer want to seek comfort in that. I rather just rely on myself...
Remind me. It's all about me.
posted by Shine at 6/19/2005 12:17:00 PM
3 Comments:
would i be the best anchor then?
Whatever makes you happy, JC..
Whatever makes you happy...
well i made you happy, how quickly you forget. compromise and sacrifice, thats what its all about. you cant keep doing this, there are casualties like me all over. you must know what it feels like.
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