True Dat
You're right. It's very very unlikely I will ever stop posting on my blog. I'm the one who just can't shut up. Or stop typing. At least over the weekend I know I had envious nails. And I didn't type till my fingers bled.
But right about now, it's time to move on. Isn't it?
I finished Robert and Sophie standing at the bookstore. I found Bean, but he's nicely wrapped up in plastic. So I grabbed the next best thing. So many unresolved. So many pendings. Time to close this one.
And I finished it. Of 20 pages odd, I finished it.
Maybe I could be a Jules, a revisit. And pick it up again. And put it down and know it's right there. Maybe I could move on. And find great company. I still have Bean. And with Bean, he's a revisit, until I get the next.
It's so sanguine of me. And it's right there. And I keep wondering why people could read me like an open book. It's on my blog. Yeah, it doesn't take a genius.
I turned down dinner invitation this evening. It was tempting. It was just the girls. It was just a Monday. A usual Monday, with the usual to expect. Nothing popping up that it shouldn't, because it always does.
I have Oceans Twelve playing distractingly on Friday night. That Friday night that I know I was not going to sleep. That Friday night that I have to be careful, and be quiet, and don't try to be alone. I was hoping that the distraction would work, but it didn't quite. I had many things on my mind, but mostly it was about the careful laid plans of being cautious and yet still have a hint of excitement. That was expected. And I had to sound excited without sounding scared.
And I use to think I was such an Academy Awards Winner. Until I realise that I am actually scared. And there are things at risk. And I better know what I'm doing. I took deep breaths. And I tried breathing right wrongly. And I kept breathing right wrongly after I started. And that, is not me.
I do not want to begin to recount Friday night. I hope that there won't be more nights like that. I wish that I won't be subject to more expected complacency.
And then realise I'm all talks. And wonder why I bother to grieve with Chairwoman in hopes of her making things right for herself.
My new best friend couldn't do it. And I understand her reasons. She's living with more things as risk now than ever. And with us, I know we've come to a point where we don't talk about those things anymore. Take a look in the mirror.
We were the hypocrites we say we don't want to be.
But right about now, it's time to move on. Isn't it?
I finished Robert and Sophie standing at the bookstore. I found Bean, but he's nicely wrapped up in plastic. So I grabbed the next best thing. So many unresolved. So many pendings. Time to close this one.
And I finished it. Of 20 pages odd, I finished it.
Maybe I could be a Jules, a revisit. And pick it up again. And put it down and know it's right there. Maybe I could move on. And find great company. I still have Bean. And with Bean, he's a revisit, until I get the next.
It's so sanguine of me. And it's right there. And I keep wondering why people could read me like an open book. It's on my blog. Yeah, it doesn't take a genius.
I turned down dinner invitation this evening. It was tempting. It was just the girls. It was just a Monday. A usual Monday, with the usual to expect. Nothing popping up that it shouldn't, because it always does.
I have Oceans Twelve playing distractingly on Friday night. That Friday night that I know I was not going to sleep. That Friday night that I have to be careful, and be quiet, and don't try to be alone. I was hoping that the distraction would work, but it didn't quite. I had many things on my mind, but mostly it was about the careful laid plans of being cautious and yet still have a hint of excitement. That was expected. And I had to sound excited without sounding scared.
And I use to think I was such an Academy Awards Winner. Until I realise that I am actually scared. And there are things at risk. And I better know what I'm doing. I took deep breaths. And I tried breathing right wrongly. And I kept breathing right wrongly after I started. And that, is not me.
I do not want to begin to recount Friday night. I hope that there won't be more nights like that. I wish that I won't be subject to more expected complacency.
And then realise I'm all talks. And wonder why I bother to grieve with Chairwoman in hopes of her making things right for herself.
My new best friend couldn't do it. And I understand her reasons. She's living with more things as risk now than ever. And with us, I know we've come to a point where we don't talk about those things anymore. Take a look in the mirror.
We were the hypocrites we say we don't want to be.
posted by Shine at 7/31/2006 08:26:00 PM
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