Sharing my MEAT

It's really weird. I never thought I would. Then again, depends on what is your definition of MEAT. For me, it was really weird. The Pod was inherited. I know Qert well enough to know he's cheesy. And wired. And absolutely completely totally resourceful.

But seeing my gargatuan Pod, in someone elses' hands, makes me almost catch my breath. Everybody knows I'm very particular with my music intake. With carrying my own rhythm.

Okay, this is very strange. I cannot take the Jamie Cullum tune out of my head. But For Now... (This I have to mention, it is so so weird because I had lunch with the team of 4 pax and Rina was humming every tune she heard in every shop in every street. She's so easily brainwashed. And I told her that) No, I didn't hear this song at all today. I didn't even use my Pod today. But this Jamie Cullum song, this tune...

Wait, I was talking about sharing my MEAT. And grimacing, as he scroll through the antique first-gen heavy piece of shit. My space of 20 gigs. It's an inherited Pod. I don't know if I appreciate having what's on it. But till I can ... have my firewire card installed, I'll live with it. And knowing, at least there is a few great albums in there.

I played a song. And I was so transparent. He knew what I was going to play before I even play it. Why can people always read me like a book?

Well, there. It's been said before. And it will be said again, and repeated till it's drilled in my head. I am so transparent. And I am such a puppy.

It's so difficult to begin to say what and why and how come about everything. It's a whole big Alanis Morissette song playing one with the other on repeat.

It was a weekend, with very difficult decisions to make. But I made it. I gave up my CSI Supreme Sunday slot. I gave up my Race Day. 6 more races to go before the end of the Season. Missed 2 this year. Both misses with valid reasons.

I remember right about CSI Supreme Sunday slot, what I was doing last week. I gave up the slot too, to spend it with my mom and my dad, talking in their room. It was a different feeling completely. To be spending it feeling my breath catch as he scrolled my first-gen obsolete un-savvy Pod. To be spending it having a Chai Latte, over smiles I couldn't hold back. Over tears I also couldn't.

Sharing takes a lot of being strong. And unfortunately that Scorpio in me is a lousy crappy piece of posessive shit. And some things break me down completely. And I turn into this fountain I don't know why, or who it actually is. But I am. it.

I guess I disappoint me a lot. I didn't expect me to be quite like this. Even when I used to cry about work. Even when I used to cry on The Couch. Or in empty offices, or empty toilets. Right about in his presence, the tears shed unabashedly steady stream and I cannot tell why. This is actually about a person.


And if Qert was around, he would be asking me, "You left that already. Why are you still making wantan on my office floor?"

And it's one of those same reaction, shake your head and say it's work.

And remember, there's always Justin on your Pod that makes you want to sing and dance. There's always Qert on the line if you need to be slapped. There's always my mom at home, who lets me rest my head on her lap. There's always Jules, who would let me grab her eggs. There's always Jerri Berry, if I need a rude wake up call.

And there's always Florence's Mom if I ever want a lift. LOL.