Crushed

All morning, I was looking forward. Till the time is right. And till the day break, where he is. I sent an email. But I didn't know if it was going to get read. But I sent it anyway.

My mobile rang with a dedicated ring tone. I knew who it was. And I smiled at what it read.

Yes, but only for 1 reason, I replied.

And the next two texts continued to crush me.

I was so looking forward. Because I thought there would be no better person to do this with. And the worse thing about it was. It again, wasn't in my hands. And it again, wasn't my choice.

And today has only gone to prove one thing. I will always be not quite there. I will always be not quite right. I will always be just a little bit. And I will always be sidelined.

Think about it. Who am I? To the one person whom I thought I was everything, I am not.

This Monday has proven to be more difficult to take on, than it was when I measured my "up" with my him-meter, with my crystalisation, with my lithium-laced cure, with my mood elevator, with my music, with everything that is wrong.

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