The thing about me

.. is that I am a package.

Since yesterday, this dark cloud was floating over me. Due to some reasons, not one, not two but three decided to fail me yesterday. And I was really disappointed.

I used to really like my list. I used to really think that my list is good sustenance. John Mayer said, "good love is on the way".


And today. Let's talk about today.

Jules went on my behalf to French Fry to purchase my 3rd gold bag in the last one month. I was so happy. She's doing retail therapy on my behalf. I'm so happy I'm so happy.

I felt from bad to worse becoz that happy high only lasted for a while.

By 11.45 am, still early, I texted a colleague and said, "Let's go for something really expensive today."

You'd think I know what I was talking about?
I ended up eating at the Chinese Restaurant in the hotel next door. Now talk about really expensive to me.

Yes, that's it. No more retail therapy. I ate my heart out at a nice restaurant with okay food and many familiar faces.

After a hearty lunch, it not only blew up in my face. It blew up in Jules face.

At 2.30 pm Jules find herself alone, with none of the purchases she has done this morning and late on the way out of the city to get to work.


Thanks so much. I love you.

Julius : Good. At least you love me. I jt had a huge fight wid kk

Honey r u ok? Wat happened?

Julius : long story. got upset. jt left him n took train back2kl sentral. everything wid him.

Oh poor thing.. late for work?

Julius : Ya. Late. 2ml wanna go bangsar puiling wanna eat banana leaf rice v go drown sorrow. wanna come?

No it's alright honey. I'm gonna be working.. Come over tomorrow play mahjong.

Julius : K c how mayb no go coz now very upset cos of the...

Hang in there dear. U gonna be alright.





And then I realise.. it's the same for most of us. I needed Jules for a lift and she needed me for a lift. Unfortunately I couldn't provide it to her, vice versa.


I wish I am a stronger person. And I wish to be able to completely hide what's going on inside better. I wish people will stop short-changing me. I wish maybe some day I'd be worthy.


Maybe one day I will stop getting disappointed.