Unable to comply

I have been up to my eyeballs in work. Closing this one month stay of 2 units is quite something. Yet it doesn't even feel like I succeeded in anything. If I take my plastic spoon and stab myself, bleeding and letting life go slowly but surely, I would not be able to succeed in that too. I am such a complete failure.

Yes, afternoon shift today. Or whatever you want to call it.

Last night, I didn't leave office until 15 minutes to midnight. I was in such a state that even my afternoon shift left before me. And today isn't any better.

I was successful all day, with very little sms and none to him. Until 7.30 pm. 8 sms later. I knew that it was so totally wrong. I didn't feel any better, but that's only because I couldn't feel any worse than I already do.

"You shouldn't keep the sms. You have a chance to renew them everyday."

Now I know I don't.