Car rides & midnight movie

Last night, Steve took me on a drive. To a new highway both of us has never been on. Very jakun, I know. But it was good. And it was just how I like it. My used-to-be favourite highway, dropped off the list of favourites.

This highway, is great!

It's great for racing, it's great for speeding. And I don't even know the name of the highway. Except that we pass 2 tolls. And we watched as a Skyline sped after the Ferrari. That gave me such a rush. And I wasn't certain if I was going to be able to sleep at night.

I went home and took a look at the giant bottle of meds. Bitter as hell. But mom says... bitter is good. Bitter cures. BLERK. I am to finish this bottle of meds before I see the doc tomorrow. (Fri) and I did. I took big gulps. And cried as I belched. Then popped a handful of sweets into my mouth before my taste buds die off.

The meds knocked me out. I think must be overdose. You see.. the thing is, my dad is strange. He places lots of obstacles before getting to the balcony. Bad. It's either he's afraid I sleepwalk, or probably know that I should be sober before attempting to make it to the balcony. But then what's the point? We're on second floor. And for him to child-proof the balcony since I was months old was enough to reinforce the fact that one look at me and knew I was gonna be suicidal.

I had to make it to the balcony for me religous routine everynight before I fall asleep. Or I won't be able to. Psychological need, I guess. I haven't decided.

I made it to bed with a few bumps. Sneaking drinks at night has never left me this way than that stupid bitter meds.

Some more attempts at feel-good has got me coerced and I have decided to drop it and be a bigger person. We're catching a midnight movie. I don't remember our last midnight movie. Probably more than a year ago. I can hardly recall.

But again... Let's not try to get ahead of myself.

Let's see how he performs tonight. James, I mean.