Melancholic

I don't know what it was this morning.. I came in to the office and uploaded The Collection album.. And started singing Alanis Alanis style. Bad idea. You kill your team members. With your singing and their appetite. Bad. Bad bad bad.

Try picturing singing my angry song and don't wear a frown. That's next to impossible, right.
And then.. there was that email I wrote and it was true.. Over the weekend, I did think about JC. And it was right. Everything I described him, ever, was right. Was true. He knew what it was that made me tick.

Which was what made me click on his nick this afternoon. I've always seen him online, but I've never clicked on him. Till this afternoon.

And we started talking. Wasn't the best decision I made today. But it was heavy. And it was difficult. He said, "Can I be brutally honest with you?"

Yes, be brutal.

And he was. He went totally brutal honest, painful to the core honest.. He was that. And I expected that of him. I knew he was gonna do that. And I react.. "HAHAHHAHAHHAA :))"

His reply.. "Good reaction.."

No, it wasn't. I wasn't impressed. So don't..

JC : "I miss talking"

I still talk a lot.. But talking..?

JC : "Yes, talking.. You remember do you?"

I was naturally loud..

JC : "Everybody heard you."

I am naturally loud..

JC : "And you know I heard you, right?"

What was I thinking when I started the conversation. What was I thinking!!
But boy did JC know me.. I remained quietly there but not there throughout the evening.

And when I moved my lap out to Planet Starbucks to blog, he said.. "Connection is so much faster and only the price of a cup of coffee"

I didn't even buy that.

JC : "Well, that's like your second home, in'it?"

Ah... yes..

JC : "Ever thought of opening a franchise on your own?"

Not chartered in my direction at the moment.. No.

JC : "Coffee and internet, you could eat and sleep there"

Yes, with it being so close to office!

JC : "or not even close. Make it your office."

People always knew.. People always knew what it was that made me tick. Did I forget to leave the cloaking device on? Did I forget to play the defense? Am I such an open book to read? Qert has always been able to read me like a book. And I thought it was that way because I let Qert do that.

As I sat through the evening listening to John Mayer's Room for Squares.. Everything John Mayer reminds me of JC. And I realise I honestly have trouble disassociating.

No regrets. Nothing. Just realised that we are such estrangled friends now.